DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I can't stand the stink of my girlfriend's feet when they come out of her favourite running shoes, which she always wears. She doesn't seem to notice the stench but it knocks me over. How do I tell her? -- Revolted By Stinking Feet, Ft. Richmond
Dear Revolted: Be upfront, and put your money where your mouth is. Say something like this in a casual, unapologetic voice: "I know that nobody can smell their own feet, so I'm telling you those running shoes are making your beautiful feet smell terrible. They need to be replaced by new running shoes with vents, which I will gladly buy you for the warm weather!" Also give her some new soles and foot powder to put in the old shoes as an immediate gift.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm having difficulties in figuring women out. I'm 35 and have been in three long-term relationships, ready to tie the knot three times. But they all cheated on me. My first was also my last relationship. The last time I thought she had grown up and matured (she has three beautiful angels from past relationships). The second one was just one big mind-game. Anyway, I've decided to heck with putting up a false front -- just be me. I was on a dating site a few times. All these women were saying that they were looking for guys who were funny and honest. I'm that and more. I admit I don't like to act my age. I dress goth, everywhere but work. I also wear my heart on my sleeve (as my boss tells me). Here is my question: "Why won't the women I'm attracted to allow themselves to see what a wonderful and terrific guy I am?" I know this all might seem a bit vague, but any help and advice would be greatly helpful. -- Confused Corydon Vampire
Dear Vampire: Let's figure you out first. A 35-year-old guy, dressing goth and trying to act like he's in his 20's, is going to scare off a lot of cool women. The message you're putting out is "I'm a scary older dude trying to run with younger people" instead of "I'm a multi-faceted adult who could be your sexy lover and maybe husband." See the difference? Why won't you let women see, right off the hop, that you're a loving, funny guy who's ready for everything, even marriage and bringing up kids? Instead you're going out dressed as a teen vampire when 35 is a hot age for an adult. These sight turn-offs are hurdles you subconsciously throw up to the adult female population, limiting yourself to immature babes or goth wannabes you could only find in significant numbers at a fetish ball. Stop limiting yourself! Do the goth dress-up thing when it fits at a certain, bar, ball or party, but dare to be more open and welcoming at other social occasions.
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