DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I wear bras with padding to give my pear-shaped body some balance. Sigh. OK, it's really because it makes me look sexy. This was fine with my ex-husband, who knew me before I grew the bottom part of the pear and started worrying I wasn't looking sexy anymore. I asked him, "Do these jeans make my butt look fat? And he said, "Yes, because it is." He was a jerk, but I must say he did think my padded upper deck looked great. Now, I am single and going out with men and I've been afraid to get naked with anyone. A guy will be expecting big D cup breasts when I undress whereas I'm only a B-cup. That's a difference of two inches in protrusion from the chest wall (D is 4" and B is 2") so I have been cheating quite a bit. How do I tell a guy? Getting undressed is bound to be a disappointment, and I have this new guy I really like. It has all been smoke and mirrors up to now. -- Scared to Get Naked
Dear Scared: Just getting undressed for a guy for the first time is seldom a disappointment! He may also have a surprise for you, too. Nobody knows exactly what they're dealing with, where a man is concerned, so you're even, as long as you'll be happy to accept his him the way he is. And, how about you dial back one cup size ASAP? Start wearing a padded C-cup, so the big reveal in the near future isn't a big difference. Most people look a little bigger in a bra that holds everything up in place anyway. A little cheat will be dismissed as lack of a bra. As for making the most of what you've got, there's nothing like weight-lifting to round out the top part of your bosom. Think how large a man's pectorals become with upper body weight training. You can improve the look of your breasts considerably by pushing weights hard for a few months to build, and then maintaining.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I are best friends with another couple, and I'm concerned about them. We're all 17-18. My girlfriend and I agreed to keep sex for marriage, but this other couple doesn't see it the same way. The girl in this other couple is not on birth control, and they've both admitted to having unprotected sex when he doesn't have condoms. Both my girlfriend and I have tried to warn them of the severe consequences, but neither seems to be taking it seriously. The girl is concerned that her family would find the pills and freak out. Every time we've offered to go with her to a clinic, or to take her to see someone, she shrugs it off and makes excuses. They're both so nonchalant. What can we do to make them take this seriously? -- Worried Friends, Winnipeg
Dear Worried: Something else is going on here. Maybe the girl thinks she'd like to marry this guy and getting pregnant would do the trick. If she really wanted to protect herself, this girl could hide her birth-control pills under a corner of the carpet or in the lining of an unused purse in the closet and they'd never be found. Even if they were, her parents might be relieved. A lot of parents hang back from suggesting pills as they don't want to start something that might not start otherwise. Suggest one more thing -- that the girlfriend go to Women's Health Clinic, 419 Graham Ave. (947-1517) It has a teen walk-in clinic every Thursday after school and into the early evening. She won't run into her family doctor or have to bring an adult for consent. If pill cost is a factor, they have a program where a girl can get pills at no cost as long as she needs them. Beyond that, there's little more you can do if this couple is determined to take a chance on having a baby. It's really hard having friends who take stupid chances. You might want to back off this friendship a little, since it causes so much worry.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 or email firstname.lastname@example.org