-- Crying All The Time, Winnipeg
Dear Crying: You poor thing! Look, you need some solid alternatives, so here they are: 1) If you want to leave your husband, see a lawyer your husband doesn't use, or call Manitoba Legal Aid for free legal counsel. Work out how to best to leave the marriage for a decent settlement, plus support. Ask your family for their help and support, and tell them the whole truth, about the risk to your life 2) If you decide to stay with him, you must let him know he's outed sexually. But, don't trust him if he says he'll quit seeing men. You'll need testing for both of you and a condom each and every time you have sex with your husband, forever. This is very risky, but it's your decision. 3) Haven't the courage to say anything yet? Since he's fooling you, fool him back to save your life. Tell him you found out you have to be off sex until the baby is born, or you could lose this child. Since you can't have sex right after a baby is born, you have a total of four or five months to get your life re-organized and still be supported properly until that time. Even with support, women usually end up paying 80 per cent or more of the children's costs. Look into social assistance, call former bosses about work in the new year, and investigate ways to earn a living from home once you have your energy back.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in response to the person who wrote about people not washing their hands and/or not using soap. A) not all soap actually kills germs -- the friction of rubbing one's hands together is almost enough; B) some people are very allergic to soap, especially soap in public washrooms, which is often extremely scented. If I forget my unscented hand sanitizer, I skip soap and rub my hands vigorously under very, very hot water. This person should stop jumping to immediate conclusions about hand washing without soap, especially with the prevalence of allergies in our society!
-- Seriously Allergic, But Still Clean, Winnipeg
Dear Allergic: Thanks for the explanation. If we take off the germy bathroom doors around the city, as some people are suggesting, we may be watching people like you standing at the sink! Seriously, you should know some restaurants are planning to put in L-shaped screens or walls to be able to remove the doors and still give people their privacy. P.S. Some folks are confessing to flushing the toilet with their feet now -- an extra reason to wash up diligently.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email firstname.lastname@example.org