Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Insist on condoms, accept no excuses

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I hope your readers won't think me a tramp, but I'm a woman of a certain age with an amazing sex life. (Amazing to me anyway!) I never had this much attention when I was a single divorcée between my two husbands, or when I was young. I'm currently dating two men in the Winnipeg area and have one sweetheart online from another continent. They are all great fun, though I'm not in love. The local relationships are also physical. I'm an athlete, so I meet lots of men, especially through running and racquet sports. My question is this. I don't expect my boyfriends to be true to me, as I refuse to tie myself down with one guy when I'm having so much fun. But, when I ask both of my lovers to wear protection, they protest. I know the statistics are surprisingly high for sexually-transmitted infections (STI's) in the older crowd. Those guys think condoms are only there to prevent pregnancy. One of my male friends is quite the playboy and I particularly don't trust his other women. What can I say when my men argue with me? -- Too Nice, St. Vital

Dear Nice: Some attitudes entertain argument, while others definitely don't. Forget the ingratiating smile and say matter-of-factly, "Nothing doing, unless you wear a condom." I've had some sad letters from mature men and women who thought their new partners would never give them anything -- as if diseases are only for the young. If you are playing the field, you must always protect each other. If you finally settle down with one partner, you must get tested and re-tested months later to make sure you or he have nothing that's nasty to pass on before you throw away the protection. Even then you don't know 100 per cent if somebody is lying and sneaking around. So stand firm, no apologies.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want a nice girl but I'm attracted to the gorgeous women and I'm good enough looking to get them. The ones my mom calls "girl-next-door" types just leave me cold. It's hard to find a glamourous, tall and beautiful woman in Winnipeg who doesn't know it. I'm sure they exist but I'm not finding any on the nightclub scene. Surely, great beauty can exist inside and outside at the same time. How do I fish for that? The silliness of a lot of these women annoys me, especially when they're into the drinking. -- Wanting More, River Heights

Dear Wanting More: When a woman has to be outright glamorous to attract you, and that serves as a measure of your own handsomeness, you're playing in the shallow end of the pool. Plus, the only place you mention meeting women is in the bars. Women who are beautiful inside and out exist everywhere, and there are also some at the bars (but most are out to party on those nights). So, if that's your only hunting grounds and you're serious about making a change, look for an attractive woman who isn't getting drunk and silly -- like the designated driver who's willing to look after her friends. Look for the woman who wants to talk about life and world issues, who loves family, has pets, wears her beauty casually and isn't forever checking her hair and makeup or adjusting her clothes. Then take a look at the man in the mirror and see if you're a match. You think you've been meeting gorgeous airheads up to this point. Why would that be? Maybe it's time to make some changes in you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hate the secretary of my boss. She rules the office, and he sits around with very little to do. I know 1,000 per cent more about the products we sell than she does, yet she's constantly telling me what to do and whom I should be calling to make sales. She has made my boss completely dependent on her by taking on a lot of his work responsibilities. How do I change this situation, because I can't stand it much longer. Do I think she's sleeping with him? Wouldn't surprise me. -- Supremely Irritated, Winnipeg

Dear Supremely: You can't tell him she's a pain if your boss is involved with her. Ditto for telling her off. You can't ask him questions about all the areas she's taken over, or you'll just be referred back to her. You have two choices: 1) move companies or 2) try to sell as much or more, making sales phone calls from outside the office. You won't miss her and she won't miss you. Think she doesn't know you despise her? Oh, she knows.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6, or email

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition January 7, 2012 G9

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes


  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.


Make text: Larger | Smaller


Jets hope to give fans a good show for first home playoff game in 19 years

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • Aerial view of Portage and Main, The Esplanade Riel, Provencher Bridge over the Red River, The Canadian Museum for Human Rights and The Forks near the Assiniboine River, October 21st, 2011. (TREVOR HAGAN/WINNIPEG FREE PRESS) CMHR
  • The sun peers through the fog to illuminate a tree covered in hoar frost near Headingley, Manitoba Thursday- Standup photo- February 02, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos


Do you think the Jets will win Game 4 on Wednesday?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google