Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Invite your boyfriend to join in the laughs
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: This is kind of stupid, but the problem is I get the giggles while making love. My new boyfriend doesn't find it amusing. In fact, the first time he thought I was laughing at him for some reason. Why does it happen? I'm not a ticklish person. -- Inappropriate Gigglebox
Dear Gigglebox: Experts say that more women than men are prone to giggling before or during sex, and many men have a big laugh afterwards caused by release, joy, just having fun. Nervousness is often a part of first sexual experiences with a new partner, and this could be your problem. Laughing's not a bad thing, so long as you explain ahead of time you're not making fun. Invite him to laugh, too!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I wish I were lonely. My life is making me so claustrophobic I've had two panic attacks now. I've got three children -- two toddlers and a small baby and I'm still breast-feeding. My house, my life, my body do not belong to me. My husband is needy for sex because he isn't receiving enough and everybody is at me for something. Yesterday, instead of screaming at everyone at supper, I just broke down and cried for 30 minutes. My little kids were saying, "Why you crying, Mommy?' and I felt so ashamed for upsetting them. Miss L., my husband is a good guy who makes good money and provides for us all, and he'd like to know what to do. He babysits so I can go out, but I end up getting groceries. Big deal. By the time I get home my breasts are aching and the baby is chomping on his soothie like a madman. I can't take anti-anxiety meds because I'm afraid my baby would get them. Please help me. -- Overwhelmed Mother of Three, Winnipeg
Dear Overwhelmed: A teenager from the neighbourhood could come after school, play with toddlers, or help make dinner, do the wash, whatever you need that day. She should stay until 6 p.m., even if your husband arrives home at 5 p.m. Explain to her you need time to visit with your husband when he comes home before you and he become twin babysitters for the evening. Pay her at least minimum wage, as she's doing adult work. If you feel your three tiny kids are too much for a babysitter alone at night and you only have a few hours between breastfeedings, have the sitter come when the toddlers are asleep and the little one is just fed. Then go out and hit a dessert restaurant, just the two of you. You also need other adults, but invite relatives or friends with kids for potlucks on weekends who have little kids themselves and are not annoyed by occasional screeching. As for you personally, even two-minute meditations would help calm you.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 4, 2011 D6
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