DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend came home and caught me wearing her underwear. I was only wearing a pair of her panties, which feel good against my skin. I denied any other interest in the situation. She doesn't believe me, and now she is pestering me to find out if I'm a cross-dresser. I don't want to dress up and look like a lady but I do sometimes like to wear something other than ugly cotton underwear they make for men. -- The Sensualist, St. Boniface
Dear Sensualist: Manufacturers also make underwear for men in silky materials. If you truly care about the feel and not the feminine associations that go with silky underwear, buy yourself a drawerful of sexy , silky men's boxers and bikinis. Otherwise, go to a counsellor and do some private talking. The easiest -- and the worst person to fool in a sexual relationship -- is yourself. You need to get to know yourself and your desires honestly.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in response to Curling Nut, whose husband is upset he's a curling widower. I teach dancing, and my husband is very supportive. The happiest of couples do not spend all of their time together. I am busy almost every weeknight, and most weekends with the dancing, and even travelling for competitions, He has hobbies that I am not interested in, like fishing, going to concerts, playing video games. This way we have tons to talk about when we do see each other, and we keep our independence and happiness strong. We do make a strong point of spending ample time with each other -- going on dates, hanging out in group settings with friends, and cuddling. I think that her husband should find a productive hobby or spend time with friends. If all he likes to do is sit on the couch, and have intercourse, he may want to analyze his own boring life, or see a counsellor. There is so much time in our lives, that you should embrace every moment with what you love, or all of a sudden it will have flown by with out your noticing. -- Dance Teacher with Supportive Husband
Dear Dance Teacher: It's easy to tell this guy to get hobbies, but he might not be the type. There are people who have interests and people who only have two interests -- their job and their spouse. Women tend to have multiple interests and more friends. Some married guys have no friends at all, after they leave the workplace. How do you change that in a person? These are the types of guys who go out and find another person to fill the void and it's usually an affair person.