DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I am losing liquor out of my bar. I have always trusted my teenagers, so it can only be my cleaning lady. It used to be the liquor was watered down, but last weeken a whole bottle was missing. I asked my kids and they totally denied taking any, and I believe them. How do I approach my cleaning lady? -- Upset Mom, River Heights
Dear Mom: Someone tampered with your liquor before and it was the work of an amateur, likely a teenager. My guess is one of your little darlings borrowed a bottle for a party, thinking they'd return it before you noticed -- and then forgot or didn't have enough money to replace the liquor. This is what you do when you have kids who might be tempted: Put a big ol' lock on the liquor cabinet and don't say a word. Since they're not supposed to be in there anyway, they can't complain or criticize. They may notice and give you the "you don't trust me" whine to which you answer, with a big grin on your face, "It's just your friends I don't trust!"
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I wanted to sit down in the last seat left at a small concert and two people had piled their two coats on it said "It's taken." I stood for 20 minutes and no one came, and then I went back again and said, "Move your coats, please. You friend hasn't come." They wouldn't budge. I went back to the ticket taker/usher and asked her to intervene and she said, "Oh, I' m afraid I couldn't do that, and cause a scene." What should I have done? I puchased a ticket and deserved a seat and had to stand for the whole thing. -- So Angry, North End
Dear Angry: If you'd gone and pulled the coats off of the chair, the ensuing ruckus would have disturbed the entertainer. You did the right thing to ask the usher to intercede. When that failed you should have asked for the organizer and demanded a chair from somehere, since you paid for a ticket. After the event, the two people who refused to let you sit, should have been requested by the organizer to pay for the extra seat. I encourage any reader with other solutions to write in.