DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I love eating snack treats in bed and having a little drink. I even have a cute little fridge nearby. My boyfriend is fussy about crumbs and will make us both get out of bed and shake out the sheets so he doesn't feel crumbs when he's trying to get to sleep. I think he imagines them! I told him he's like the princess and the pea, and he said, "Nobody with any sense brings food into the bedroom." I guess I have no sense. Neither did my previous boyfriends, then, because eating in bed has always been a fun thing in my relationships -- breakfast in bed, snacks, drinks. This guy is on his fourth month with me and at this rate it could be his last. He's also fussy about dishes and housekeeping and last week followed me down to the basement to tell me how to fold linen. I snapped him with a damp tea towel. I hope it hurt. Am I being petty or is he too much of fussbaby? -- Getting Riled Up, Windsor Park
Dear Riled: That's the joy of being single and maintaining your own place. You can try relationships on for size and comfort. This guy will make you feel self-conscious and criticized and your housekeeping will give him the creepy-crawlies. You two are going to chafe at each other in many ways before you're through. Why drag it out? He's clearly too fussy for you.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm an alcoholic but a very pleasant one. No one complains because I don't cause any trouble. But, I know I'm not all that all I could be because I start drinking at happy hour and pace myself until the kids are all in bed and then I drink the rest of the bottle. I'm a wino, no more or no less, and I'm single. If I can't sleep I crack another bottle and drink myself to sleep. I can't leave it alone until everything's gone. I don't kid myself that my family doesn't know, but I don't know what to do about it. I look forward to my drink at 5 p.m. like my next breath. I love my wine and throw a lot of family dinner parties as an excuse to drink without being noticed by them. My sister asked me to quit drinking about six months ago and I shut her down by asking her to lose 50 pounds. We all have our faults. Can you go to AA if you're not ready to go? So why am I writing you if I don't want to quit? -- Not Quite Ready, Tuxedo
Dear Not Quite: What alcoholic suddenly dislikes the drink in the bottle? What drug addict suddenly dislikes her drug? It's what it's doing to you that you grow to hate. Are you sick of being half in the bag when you have children to raise? What if a child got ill in the middle of a night where you had passed right out instead of going to sleep? Are you sick of the example you are setting for them? Are you upset by your sister having to ask you to quit? If you're sick of those things, you should at least go to ONE Alcoholics Anonymous meeting (942-0126) and just listen to other people talking. You don't have to do anything more than sit there. Sounds like you may be ready for just that much, because you reached out by writing in.