Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Keep wedding ring in a box as memento for your kids
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: What does a person do with a wedding ring when the marriage is over? I had been with a woman for 22 years, married for 17, and it has ended. We have two great kids out of it (in their teens) and now their mom and I have moved on with other solid relationships. It's been suggested to either give it to one of the kids, throw it away or just keep it and store it somewhere. Is there a "proper" way to "dispose" of wedding rings for guys and gals? -- Just Wondering, Winnipeg.
Dear Wondering: Put the ring away -- it's a 17-year part of your history on Planet Earth and matters to your kids. That way, if one of your children want to look at the ring or have it, you haven't been so cold as to throw it out. A decent ring box is the right place for the ring, not a shoebox. Find another nice box or trunk to place the family photographs from your time together as an intact unit. I trust you didn't snip your ex-wife out of any photos. If you did, dispose of those as it's a nasty visual for children to live with. Put the boxes in dry storage and someday the kids will want to divide up the photos and make albums of their own. While you have gotten divorced and moved on, remember their family is still you, your ex-wife and them -- plus the new step-parents and step-siblings.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Things with my boyfriend and me are going really good and we're still going strong but lately I've been having dreams about cheating on him. I've already had about four dreams about my cheating on him, and one where I had the chance and didn't. What do you think this means? My boyfriend and I will be dating for six months soon. In my past relationships I've never cheated on anybody. I can't stand the fact that people would cheat on someone since I believe that if you can't stay loyal in a relationship, why be in one at all? I wouldn't ever cheat on him but I don't understand why I've been having these messed-up dreams. -- Worried About Cheating Dreams, Winnipeg
Dear Worried: You're obsessing on cheating, but you're not the one who wants to cheat. Are you worried your boyfriend is secretly cheating and doesn't share your values on this issue? Perhaps you can't stand the visuals of his cheating with someone else, so you transfer yourself into the person doing it. That's how dreams can work sometimes. We transpose different bodies and faces onto other souls we know. How about you get into a general conversation about cheating and see where he stands on it. Too personal to introduce? You could tie this conversation to another person you know who is cheating. It seems we all know people like this.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 19, 2010 D10
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