Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Let your husband know peeping at him was a thrill

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: OK I did something bad. I peeped on my husband when he thought he was alone and caught him watching porn and the whole darn thing going on. It was a thrill for me, but now he's mad. I like porn myself and don't care if he has a private little library himself. Why is he getting so righteous about this? I'm sorry I mentioned seeing him. How do I get back to Square 1 from here? I wish I'd never done it, but I did. -- Caught Peeping, Charleswood

Dear Caught: He's embarrassed underneath the anger. Some things are still private within a live-in relationship and he thought he was entertaining himself in private. So, how can you soothe him so he won't continue to be embarrassed? First you promise you won't do it again, and second, you tell him that it gave you a thrill. How can a guy be quite as embarrassed after hearing that, instead of what he fears ---- you mocking him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: All my partner ever thinks about is sex and we are a lesbian couple. Part of the reason I have enjoyed our relationship so far is the de-emphasis on sex and emphasis on affection. But, since my wife has gotten so comfortable and trusting with me, she's blossomed into a passionate flower I hardly recognize. She wants to try a lot of stuff I feel really uncomfortable with, being a good Catholic girl. Her attitude is "just blast past your inhibitions" as if she wrote the book of lesbian love. How do I react to this new woman when I just feel awkward. She is very well read on these new adventures. -- So Uncomfortable, Fort Rouge

Dear Uncomfortable: Let her take you along on her adventure. She loves you and you are her lover, so she will be looking for ways to make you feel comfortable and happy. Explain to her that you have been a bit of a fuddy-duddy up to now, but you're going to try to buy into the project. You helped create this wonderful feeling of trust and safety. Now it's time for you to turn the lead role over to her. You can say no to anything you don't want. That's always the deal between sex partners, but it's nice to give most things a little try, instead of vetoing something you know nothing about.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband has been talking in his sleep and I am a light sleeper, unfortunately for both of us. He has dreams where he says erotic things that sometimes make sense or not. I was getting into this and waking myself up fully to listen -- until last night when he clearly was having a dream about a woman we know. I thought he had eyes for her last time she was over here with her husband. Is he allowed to dream about other women and not be reprimanded? Too late! I told him I was very upset. He said he can't control who he dreams about or if he speaks out loud in the dream. "Just because you have your erotic dreams on mute doesn't mean you aren't dreaming about some other guy -- and I don't care!" he says. We're married now. Why is he dreaming about her? -- Jealous and Not Sleeping, River Heights

Dear Jealous: It's easy to empathize with you -- most people would be upset if they heard their lover saying some other woman's name in the middle of a sexy mumble in their sleep. But dream time is a time-out where the mind plays with all kinds of thoughts, images, fears and desires -- all in a big jumble. You have these dreams too, girlfriend! Would you like your husband giving you the third degree about them? Sometimes you can dream about a person's name and they have a different body and a different soul. He may be dreaming about your body and soul and be calling you by her name, or not. Wake him up next time he mentions another woman's name and ask him about his dream. You may be glad you did or wish you didn't, but it beats lying there fuming over imagined cheating.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6, or email

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 4, 2011 A15

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes


  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.


Make text: Larger | Smaller


MTS Centre a Winnipeg whiteout as NHL playoffs return after 19 years

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A red squirrel peaks out of the shade in a tree in East Fort Garry, Sunday, September 9, 2012. (TREVOR HAGAN/WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • Bright sunflowers lift their heads toward the south east skies in a  large sunflower field on Hwy 206 and #1 Thursday Standup photo. July 31,  2012 (Ruth Bonneville/Winnipeg Free Press)

View More Gallery Photos


Do you think the Jets will win Game 4 on Wednesday?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google