DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: During the act of love with my athletic new woman, I twisted my leg, went to the hospital emergency. I ended up limping for a week. My girlfriend told her friends who told their boyfriends and husbands and the result was teasing I didn't appreciate. Who knew she would gossip like that about us? What else has she told them? I bet they also know about the size of everything, too. But then, nothing could be as big as her big mouth, could it? This could be a deal-breaker for me. Am I over-reacting? -- Turned Off By Her Mouth, Tuxedo
Dear Turned Off: It's early in the relationship and she doesn't seem particularly attached or empathetic. Maybe sex seems more like an athletic challenge to her -- and you got a "funny-to-her" sports injury. Maybe she doesn't realize you feel laughed at, not with, and you're embarrassed. Just so you know (and not excusing it) the people teasing you may be envying your wild sex life, not really laughing at you. This woman isn't a keeper for a guy who doesn't like sharing intimate stories. A better boyfriend for her would be another yappy extrovert who thinks the story funny and a testament to his masculinity that things got so wild. Methinks you need a private and discreet type of lady.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm young, and in need of advice. Due to an altercation with my mother, I decided it was time to leave the nest, and fast. I moved in with my boyfriend of just over a month (very soon I understand, but happy to say we are still together). My mother and I have since talked and we do carry on a nice relationship. But, there are times where she becomes irrational over small things and makes comments that are hurtful, and meant to make me feel guilty. She knows this because I tell her! Not only do I argue with my mother, but I'm currently stuck in a feud between her and my cousin, and have refused to be in the middle, yet it continues. I know this is a bit cold, but I don't want to be a part of my family. It's filled with gossip (centralized on me at 14) and drama-filled. It's too much like high school and I already did my time. Any advice? -- Young, The North
Dear Young: Don't cut off your family. Families can be a pain in the tush but amputation of family members results in a lot of pain to the one who loses the limbs. Take the youthful geographical cure instead and move somewhere fun. If you have a career that requires a big centre, start researching now. If you're just working different jobs, consider working at a ski resort or a cruise ship or doing charity work overseas with a trustable organization. It's far better to take off and see the world, have some adventures, meet and possibly fall in love with someone who lives elsewhere and settle down there. Then you can enjoy family contact limited by space instead of making enemies of your blood relations, which will only hurt you in the end.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6, or email firstname.lastname@example.org