Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Look the other way if you can't stomach their bare guts
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I can't stand seeing Winnipeg men walking the streets with their bare guts hanging out. I can stand topless young women with good bodies tanning in city parks, but men of all ages walking down the street bare-chested, just seems vulgar. This weekend I counted eight guys downtown with big guts walking around totally bare. Their pants were hanging down in the back which was another sore sight except for plumbers, who are used to it. This public place nudity is a blight on the Winnipeg's downtown landscape. It looks obscene. Somebody make them stop before I go blind! -- Too Much Information (TMI), Downtown
Dear TMI: Toplessness in North America has been a sore point in modern times and it seems it's more about the baring of less-than-lovely chests than morality. Bottomlessness scares most people -- well structured or not. Keeping your angry comments to yourself is a good plan, as it's not worth a fight with a semi-nude guy even if you win. Putting your nose in the air is another thing. You may do that if you wish. Or, look the other way just as you do when you see any other sight you don't like on TV, or in the streets.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My bride gets a kick out of going boating with me to private areas way down the lake. We like to pull up on beach and have lunch. Now she wants more than lunch on the beach and not in the trees and grasses where she says ominously,'"There may be poison ivy." . . . We got away with having sex on the beach for three weekends and then we were in the height of passion when a boatful of young guys went by cheering and yelling and pounding on their horn. That did it for me. This weekend I couldn't do anything. I was too nervous about people showing up in a boat. My bride is very disappointed as this was the highlight of her weekends at the lake. What now? -- Deflated Bridegroom
Dear Deflated: Is it the chance of getting caught that has always turned her on, or the novelty of making love on a beach? If she is playing roulette with an audience she can shock or thrill, then you're truly finished with this game. If she is willing to make love on a private beach, scout for a hidden spot without poison ivy, and put down a very large drop cloth and beach blanket. With you on the bottom for the sporting activity, and your boat's name covered with a jacket you will never be associated with another shoreline show.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found out my husband has been entertaining when I'm at the lake during the week with the kids. I made a surprise visit home to pick up more life jackets and gear and discovered cigarette and cigar butts in an ashtray and empty beer bottles around the house and in the bedrooms too. That was bad enough but when I angrily threw in a load of washing, I discovered the dryer full and one of the master bedroom king size sheets had a purple and black lace bra stuck to it, not my size or style. I was so mad I didn't know what to do, except clean up my living room, hang the bra on the bedpost and dump the butts and ashes all over his motorcycle. Then I went back to the lake to the babysitter and the kids. It has been 48 hours. He has not phoned. He knows and fears my temper.We have two pre-school children. Please help. -- Stunned By This, Anonymous Beach
Dear Stunned: Now your husband will expect unannounced trips home from the lake so you can bet his fun activities with 'the boys" and "girls" coming over, have been curtailed at your house. That doesn't mean the good times won't move elsewhere. . . . By not saying anything, you are making a big mistake. You are giving him time to prepare for a split. If he is supporting you in a style that allows you to be at the lake all summer while he works, there may be money to hide. Either come home and see a domestic lawyer and work out a break up and legal separation, or work the marriage out with a counsellor as best you can. Or, you can pretend to work it out, if you want the rest of the summer at the lake with the kids, and time to think things out before you make a move. Note: You don't have to play fair at this point; but be smart rather than vindictive.Then deal with the breaking up -- or not -- in September. I'm betting you're going to blow way before that.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 24, 2011 A15
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