Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Lots of help available for abused men

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My brother's finally gotten enough strength to leave his abusive relationship. His wife was always beating him up. He did all the cooking, cleaning and took care of the children, getting them ready for school, giving them baths, everything. He's relocated to Winnipeg where he's in hiding. I want phone numbers for my brother to call so he can get counselling and quit blaming himself. He needs to get strong and stand up on his own two feet. Can you please help? -- Need Numbers, No Address

Dear Numbers: First step? "Tell him to call the Men's Resource Centre (415-6797) for free drop-in counselling Mondays from 1 p.m. to 8 p.m.," says Steve Sutherland, an intake worker. "We're at 200-321 McDermot Ave., and we have five or six counsellors on site." The individual counselling, which your brother may need badly, is usually scheduled for six to eight sessions. So how long can he remain in his hiding place? In emergency abuse situations, the Men's Resource Centre can offer temporary shelter and do the paperwork immediately for emergency Manitoba Housing. If he's experiencing emotional crisis, he can call Klinic's 24-hour line at 786-8686. The centre also offers men's groups on Wednesdays.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my girlfriend dearly, but she has trust issues. She snooped through my computer once before and swore she wouldn't do it again. However, on the weekend, I left her alone in my house for half an hour and my email was open on my computer. I was going to log out, but was curious if she'd snoop while I was gone. Shortly after I came home, she had some errands of her own to do and, after she left, I checked my history. Sure enough, she went through my Inbox, Sent Mail, Contacts, Drafts, Spam, and Saved Chats. I have nothing to hide, so I'm not too concerned about anything she'd have seen. But I am very concerned at the blatant invasion of privacy and lack of trust and respect for me. I haven't said anything, but I have the feeling she knows I know. What's your and your readers' take on this? -- Innocent and Annoyed, Winnipeg

Dear Innocent and Annoyed: There is so much Internet flirtation and cheating going on these days, you shouldn't be too surprised she looked at your email when she had a chance. Next time you're with her, ask her to return the favour by letting you go through all her stuff, with her sitting beside you -- fair is fair. She will hate it. Then you can cut a deal -- nobody snoops, or you both get to do checkups every few months. Her mouth will open and close like a guppy when you suggest this -- what can she say?

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition January 18, 2011 C7

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