Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Make him forget about his 'lines'

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend puts on a big show whenever we have sex. He thinks he is expressing what other men cannot -- the male orgasm. It is very loud, like a lion roaring, and at first it turned me on. Then it started making me snicker, and now I bite my lip to keep from laughing. It is so fake and so silly for a man to be doing this. Who cares? We're not in the jungle. There are no other animals to scare off. I told him I think he's faking it and now he's mad. I still think it's 90 per cent performance, and it's certainly not to please me, so why does he do it? Did I mention he's a big-time bodybuilder? What do you think? Real or fake? -- Pale O's by Comparison, Wpg.

Dear Comparison: He's getting a major charge out of roaring, for himself and the people who live within half a block. That's why he doesn't care if you don't like it. Just the way some women turn themselves on more by creating a symphony, he's having a better orgasmic experience when he roars like he's king of the beasts. Distract him by introducing tantric sex, where you prolong a high level of arousal for as much as an hour or so. Then the male also has a full body orgasm, like a woman's. He won't have enough energy left over to fake any kind of roaring. And, it will be equally good for you. It does take yoga-like control, though. So, appeal to the bodybuilder in him and sell this new kind of sex as an Olympic level of performance.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is leaving me, little by little. Clothes, shoes and colognes have been disappearing from his closets and drawers and don't come back. He says the clothes "went to the cleaners." We still have wonderful sex every night. I mean, it would blow your mind. I asked my closest friend what she thought, and she said: "Let's go follow him after work." So we did, and it was very confusing. He went to a place where he had a key. When I looked on the list of names on the panel, his mother's maiden name was listed. Why would he be keeping a second place? I know you have suggested getting private detectives to find out the truth, but somehow I think that handing him a report from a professional tail would make him disgusted with me and force him away from me completely. He still sleeps here and say he loves me, but I'm not believing that anymore. I still love and desire him all the time. Help! -- Going Out Of My Mind, Wpg.

Dear Going: When do YOU go from desire to disgusted? Though the sex you're getting is great, your husband's leading a double life. You can bet the second place is not a meditation room. He may have a new love partner meeting him at that address -- of either sex. Or, could he be sex addicted and seeing many partners? Get the job done right. Find out the whole story from a P.I. before talking to him, so he can't try to lie his way out of this mess. Don't worry that it will make anything worse. What's happening has been coming to a conclusion without you anyway. Before you confront him, see a domestic lawyer and an accountant. Then say to him: "I notice you've taken many of your clothes out and you now have a new place at such-and-such an address, and you've been seeing this person and that person. It seems you have left me emotionally, though you're still here sexually. This is not what I signed up for -- to be one of your sex partners. This is breaking my heart. I need you to come clean with me." That should break his silence. If he stalks out, he would have at one point soon, anyway. He's already half moved. You deserve much better than this!

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 5, 2011 A14

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Key of Bart - The Floodway Connection

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A one day old piglet glances up from his morning feeding at Cedar Lane Farm near Altona.    Standup photo Ruth Bonneville Winnipeg Free Press
  • A squirrel enjoys the morning sunshine next to the duck pond in Assiniboine Park Wednesday– June 27, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Should political leaders be highly visible on the front lines of flood fights and other natural disasters?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google