Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Put ogling boss in his place
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Why does my boss look at me like he's hungry for my body? He never says one word out of line, as this is a respectable insurance office, but he devours me with his eyes. If it were anyone else I'd say, "What the heck are you gawking at?" but I can't, because he's my boss. I have never heard of him doing anything other than staring at women's chests, and people say he is devoted to his wife. Why do I feel his beady little eyes on my breasts all the time? -- Undressed By His Eyes, Downtown
Dear Undressed: You can fight back. Put him in his place when you see he's staring by saying in a cool voice, "I notice you're staring at my clothing. Have I got toothpaste on my shirt?" and when he does it again say, "Oh, you're staring again. Is there something wrong with the way I dress for work?" Do not be coquettish in the statement. Be flat and business-like and unreadable. Let him know you know whenever he's staring, and it should stop. If it doesn't stop, and the business is big enough, talk to personnel about it, as this is not acceptable behaviour.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last night my boyfriend told me I was turning into someone he doesn't even recognize. It's dead of winter and I'm sleeping way too much. I have no sex drive. I wear ugly flannels to keep him off me. Sometimes I just don't want to get out of bed, and believe me, I get no exercise unless you count driving to work and back, and stuffing my face. I eat a lot of cookies and I comfort myself with reality TV shows. I go to work before it's light and come home when it's getting dark. My boyfriend says I'm "not normal" and he's going to move out, if I don't "snap out of it." How the hell can I just snap out of it? I cry buckets at anything sad on TV. It's just the way I feel now. -- Crying as I Write You, Fort Garry
Dear Crying: You certainly sound depressed and probably have a degree of SAD (seasonal affective disorder, a depression caused by lack of light). See your doctor ASAP; you may need medication. Meanwhile, there's lots you can do: Go outdoors at noon -- the only time for you to get natural light -- and walk every day. If your boots slip, buy extra stick-on treads. Pull your hood off your face to take in the vitamin D from the sun's rays. Also buy an SAD lamp and bask in it 30 minutes before work and again when you arrive home. For heart health and weight control, rent a treadmill you work 365 days a year, no weather excuses. As for perking up your sex drive, researchers say women who read steamy romance novels want sex twice as much as other women. Get a boxful second-hand and eat them up instead of cookies.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition January 21, 2010 D6
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