Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Put the blame where it belongs

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm so angry right now I had to move home to Winnipeg to get away from the violent feelings I was having. This black-haired woman, who was much more beautiful and intelligent than I, went after my new husband aggressively, got him involved with her, broke up our marriage before it was two-years old, and then dropped him like a fly. When I asked her why she steals men away, only to drop them, she said, "Because I can." Then she turned on her heel and walked away. I packed up the next week and left because I wanted to do violence to her. Why are some women so cold-hearted and cruel towards other women? Did she not think of what she did to me? -- Livid, St. Vital

 

 

 

Dear Livid: Nope, she didn't think of you. She was on the hunt, and you were nobody to her but the pesky wife in the background, or a vague kind of challenge. She may have been surprised to see you were a flesh-and-blood emotional person asking her questions (of all the nerve!). There's no point in going after her with a baseball bat, because she wouldn't "get it" anyway, and you'd end up doing time in jail over someone you can't stand. Now let's talk about where the majority of the responsibility belongs -- with your errant ex-husband. Do you think she forced him? Not likely. He chose to say yes. He made himself available for an affair when she beckoned. She may have started it, but he could have said, "No thanks. I'm married to someone I love." He chose not to honour his promise to you. Put the blame where it belongs and you'll start seeing straighter and regain your lost equilibrium.

 

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

 

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 5, 2010 D5

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