Dear Aching: You're already in the starting position for a sexual experience, and the gun's ready to go off. But here's the thing to consider: you seem to care a lot about the drinking. I hear resentment in your comment about "losing the privilege." If you really like your drinks, and it sounds like you do, you're not the best possible partner for this man, though it's not impossible. People who live with recovering alcoholics can have a cocktail or a glass of wine, if the partner who's quit drinking is solid in his sobriety, and OK with that. But, you're bound to think: "What if it tempts him to start drinking again?" In my opinion the best mate for this guy is a woman who's indifferent to booze -- she can take it or leave it anytime. A partner who's busy having a nip or two frequently will stock a home bar. It might be tempting on a bad day to an ex-drinker watching a mate enjoy regular drinks and having it around in the house.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A friend mentioned that she read one of your columns last week asking for gay dads to contact you to help out a letter writer (a married dad was worried about the effects of coming out and leaving his wife). I belong to a group called the Gay Fathers of Winnipeg, which has been in existence for about 20 years. We have a website (www.gayfathersofwinnipeg.com) where your letter writer can contact us anonymously by email. We are open to emailing, talking on the telephone or inviting him to meet with a member or our entire group. Our goal is to help out other gay dads the best we can by offering support and to let him know that he is not alone. Please pass along the information. Thanks! -- Anonymous, Winnipeg
Dear Anonymous: Thanks for caring and sending in this resource. Consider the message passed on to this man, and other gay fathers who feel alone in coping with a unique set of problems.
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