DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm a woman who knows everything about love and sex.. My number is standing at 24 large and small "relationships" since Grade 7. I'm now 31 and involved in a medical career. I've researched and rehearsed everything sexual in preparation for meeting my true love and have been ready for five years to meet him. No luck! Most men I attract are duds. Then, one month ago at Christmas party, I met this wonderful woman and she is all I ever wanted in a man. I went out with her for many coffees and movies and we even had a kiss or two, but I just don't feel it physically. I don't want the touching, but I think I'm falling in love with her emotionally. I know she's crazy about me. What to do? -- Half In Love, Winnipeg
Dear Half: You must stop wasting her time and leading her on. Accept that you're not physically made for this. That leaves a high level of friendship for you and heartache for her now that she's is falling for you romantically and physically. Unfortunately, physical attraction is a big part of romantic relationships. You simply don't have that to offer and it's pointless to try to fake it. Though you're fed up with waiting, No. 25 is not the beginning of the love affair you're looking for.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: While shopping at Polo Park, I spotted a former friend who still owes me $300 after two years. I really miss the friendship -- and I decided to approach him, and forgive the loan. I walked over and said, "Hey, I'd like to talk to you about cancelling that $300 debt. He turned around and said, "After all I did for you and your %$&* computer? I never owed you anything!" I swore at him and walked away. He borrowed $300 cash to get his car fixed so he could get to work, and promised me the money on payday. I asked him every payday for months. Sure he did things to fix my computer, and I did other things to help him. But, did I really owe him anything back? -- Insulted and Angry, Winnipeg
Dear Angry: If he'd asked you to exchange the money for computer help in the first place, and you'd agreed, it would have been an exchange. But no, he needed $300 in a hurry, to be paid back on his next payday. You are well rid of him for $300.