Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/8/2011 (1835 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have fallen deeply for a younger man who has nothing except love to give me. He is an artist and makes no money. His paintings will make him rich and famous one day and I am supporting that development. By the way, he is the opposite of lazy. He's obsessed! Sometimes he gets up at 3 a.m. after making love with me for hours and feels inspired to paint until noon, when he falls asleep again, then up at 8 p.m. for a late dinner and the evening with me. My friends are mean about it, pointing out he's 29 to my 45, as if I can't count. I have plenty of money to keep the two of us and we are very happy. My kids have degrees and have left home to live in B.C. (I had them in my teens) and they are shocked, too. What should I say to everybody? -- Love My Young Picasso.
Dear Love: Do you know how to make a big raspberry? Learn from your Picasso. You looked after kids from your teens to maturity. Now it is fine for you to live a younger lifestyle with a lively young man if you wish. Tell your catty friends to call their therapists so they can get over this, and tell your kids you're sorry if they're upset, but that won't change things. Remind them you're not telling them how to live their lives anymore, and they are totally free. So are you!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In regards to No Longer Perfect, the couple who shared their mutual criticisms with each other: I think there is a difference between hers and his complaints. She is saying her remarks in a positive (suggesting what to do) way and he is being negative (just criticizing). To me that is a huge difference. What do you think? -- Abe, Winnipeg
Dear Abe: Nobody likes criticism and sometimes they hate it with "what to do" attached to it. They will go right ahead and do the opposite of those suggestions, as hard and fast as they can. People are rebellious when they feel they have been insulted. In this case it was a whole list of insults.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm a family law lawyer. You advised a woman to sell a jointly owned home (with her ex) and buy a new home with her new boyfriend. This woman may be forced to share any money she puts into the new house with her boyfriend if they ever break up; whether they get married or are common-law. Joint ownership creates an entirely new legal relationship and it has nothing to do with family property law... As for the woman who loves her pre-owned cottage versus her man who loves his lakeside campsite, one of your suggestions was to sell her cabin and use the money to build on his plot. This advice risks the woman losing money in a subsequent separation that otherwise may have been protected. She would be taking the cash from her cabin, a pre-acquired asset to which he is technically entitled to appreciation only, and placing it on his inherited property, to which she is entitled to nothing, depending on how the inheritance flowed. This can all be avoided with a carefully crafted cohabitation/spousal agreement. The agreement will cost a lot less in the long run than litigation. -- A Stitch in Time
Dear Stitch: Consider your message passed along, and thanks. These days one has to think ahead to a possible breakup, though it seems depressing to do so when things are still good.
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