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Tell mom you're sorry you lied about cat

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was cat-sitting at my mother's house for the weekend when the doorbell rang and the cat got out. It is an indoor/outdoor cat, but while my mom was away, she asked he be kept inside while I looked after him. Well, he didn't come home all the rest of the day and he was gone overnight. I called for him around the neighborhood -- and people said they'd seen him here and there. Then my mother called and asked how he was, so I said, "He's fine, just sitting her on the chair beside me, so don't worry." Long story short, she came home and he was still missing. She went ballistic, screaming a name at me. Then we hear a meowing at the door and the little #$%*& is home. The beast had been hiding in the yard or the garage. My mother is barely speaking to me now. I live in an apartment with two girlfriends. I don't know what do or how to make it up to her. She isn't calling -- giving me the silent treatment. There was no harm done in the end, big hairy deal. Why is she being so nasty? -- Not a "Liar," Winnipeg

Dear Not: You are a liar. You should have said, "The doorbell rang and the cat got out and hasn't come home." She might have said, "Then put some salmon on the doorstep and he'll be back in a hurry." End of problem for you, and end of problem with mom if she shows up. You took away the opportunity for the cat's owner to get the animal home safely when you pretended he was there already. As you won't accept that you did something wrong, your mom is still mad. Take responsibility for lying and say you're really sorry. Then she will soften up. As it is, there's nothing to forgive. Call her up soon. Say you're sorry you lied, and you won't ever do that again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My older brother, age 17, has two girls going at once and I know about it. One of them I feel sorry for and the other one deserves everything she gets because she's a two-timer herself. I told my brother he had one week to tell the innocent one and he said he'll make me "very sorry" if I ratted him out. I don't know what that means but he is a thug and wouldn't hesitate to beat my face in. What do you think? -- Upset Sister, Downtown

Dear Upset: Let's be really practical and save the shape of your nose. Ignore the two-timing jerk and his love life, and make plans to live separately from this little thug the moment you're old enough. You don't need to police his love life but you might speak to one of your parents about it, if you think it will do any good. Sharing the problem with a parent is better than taking on the crusade yourself.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Sex isn't all I think about normally, but my wife of two years and I have not had intimate relations since my birthday, 163 days ago, but who's counting? She has given me every excuse in the world. Finally, I went to see an old girlfriend and re-established contact there. She is always happy to see me, but I had tried to keep myself loyal to my wife. How long does a man have to go before they have just reason to see another woman? I don't want to divorce her, but if she is planning not to have sex with me except on rare occasions. I will have to continue having another outlet. What is your opinion on this? -- Desperate for Sex With My Wife, River Heights

Dear Desperate: There is no set number of days, but women mistakenly think a partner can wait forever without having sex and then, only when they have mutually agreed to separate, is it "legal' to have sex with someone else. Men do not feel this way and most don't act by this creed. Unless your wife is pregnant or sick or something is drastically wrong, 163 days without sex is significant in a young marriage. You need counseling ASAP and to stop the cheating during that process. If things are not going to work out with this young marriage, and she just wants to be roommates, you should agree to move on before there are any children created by a desire to hang onto you -- not to be intimate, just to have babies.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 25, 2011 G9

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