Miss Lonelyhearts

Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Tell your ex's family and call a locksmith

By: Maureen Scurfield / Miss Lonelyhearts

Posted: 11/25/2009 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My ex-live-in retained one key to my house, unbeknownst to me, and came into it yesterday and used the bathroom (leaving evidence!) and cooked herself a dinner with steak out of the fridge and left all the dishes on the sink and then went through my drawers and cupboards and took anything that was hers. She then left by the front, with the door hanging open and unlocked. She put the key on the dining room table beside the very expensive wine bottle she drank from my collection. Should I go after her for break-and-enter? -- Absolutely Livid, Selkirk

Dear Livid: She's walking a dangerous line, but, considering she only took her own stuff and left your key, it's not worth the money to take her to court. DO hire a lawyer to write her a stiffly worded letter about consequences, if you choose to act. Then call her family and a close friend and shine the spotlight on her strange and illegal behaviours. Let them know she's started doing break-and-enter capers that could land her in jail. And, quickly bring in a locksmith (she could still have a copied key) to change all the locks. If she still tries to interact with you in any way, get a court order to keep her away.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The past 22 months I've wondered why I'm still with this guy. We're "in love," I guess. I'm very pretty and popular and get hit on all the time and I don't rub it in his face. However, he's kind of geeky, and whenever any girl pays him ANY attention he forgets my name. He has cheated on me before early on, very publicly, and still to this day hides phone calls and texts from girls. On our first anniversary I paid to take him to a hotel, where he got a phone call said it was a guy. I checked his phone; it was a woman. I cried myself to sleep. When confronted, he had a whole story. When we get into verbal arguments, he has an ugly side. He once threw me down a flight of stairs and he has left me with bruises countless times (never on the face). He's poor and never takes me out. If I mention it he makes me feel like a golddigger. I never embarrass or cheat on him and I always take him out. I'm almost a Stepford girlfriend. I work two jobs and I rub HIS back daily. I don't know why I stay. -- Confused, North Kildonan

Dear Confused: Let's prick this dangerous balloon. You're not "in love" because there's nothing to be in love with. Romantic love (not just friendship) requires admiration. What can you admire here? This guy is violent, dishonest, sneaky and cheats on you. He's resentful because you're pretty, admired for your beauty, and have two jobs where he has none. He wants to bring you down. Even if you do "love" a person who's nasty, love does not mean staying. If you allow yourself to open your heart to better matches, you'll find them. The minute you free yourself you'll have all kinds of possibilities ahead of you, like being happily independent, getting therapy and later finding a truly good guy. No excuses! Psychiatrists are free on Medicare with a physician's referral and psychologists are often part of a health plan at work. If you pay for it yourself, it's still a great investment.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 25, 2009 D8

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