Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Thank them for ratting out your rat boyfriend
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I went to the lake for two weeks -- two lousy weeks -- with my family and came home to find out my boyfriend has been down on Corydon partying it up. The stories I heard are making me sick to my stomach. He's been into everything -- booze, drugs, other girls, with no respect for me, not even hiding it. I found out the first hour I was home and checked in with my male friends. They were out there partying, too. I asked them, why didn't they remind my boyfriend he's taken, and they both said something like, "What could WE do about it?" -- False Friends? Back Home In Winnipeg
Dear Back Home: They did the best guys can do -- they actually told you. Many guys are afraid to tell. By the way, is there any difference between a guy who's about to cheat and get stopped, and a guy who actually does it? The intention was there, and saving him from doing it one time isn't going to make him stop. You need to let him do what he's going to do naturally so you know who he really is. You're lucky you have male friends who reported him. Thank them, don't criticize, and get back your ring.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have been sleeping with my window open to let in the littlest bit of breeze. My mother said it was too dangerous because a guy could come through the window and attack me. Now I am sleeping in my hot room with a fan blowing hot air around the room which doesn't cool me off enough to get a decent sleep and I am half asleep at my summer job every day. I think she is being paranoid, don't you? She told me to write you to settle this. -- Daughter of Paranoid Mom, River Heights
Dear Paranoid's Daughter: What you need to ask for is bars for your window so you can sleep with it open and your mother can relax, or a small air-conditioner nailed into the window frame for the summer. You can't stop your mother's feelings of worry by telling her not to feel that way.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend insists on going commando and he's not built for it. You can see everything he's got and it isn't much when he wears his favourite thing in the summer -- white cotton pants. I asked him nicely to wear some short white boxers, and even bought him some, but he thinks it's far cooler to wear nothing. Miss L., I love him but he's small man -- small hands, small feet, small you-know-what. People claim they don't crotch-watch, but they do. I would rather he didn't show the whole world his shortcomings. What should I say to him? -- Embarrassed For Him, Winnipeg
Dear Embarrassed: This guy feels like a hot dude when he goes commando. Don't spoil it for him. Say nothing. There is no polite or unhurtful way to tell a man that he isn't built on a grand scale. Actually, no one is much interested in this measurement and they probably haven't checked it out. How would you like it if he were worrying about your bosom size when you go out in public and asked you to wear a different kind of bra that made small breasts you look bigger? Yes, it is the same thing.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition August 12, 2011 D6
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