Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Threatening hubby with affair isn't going to help in the bedroom
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I've suddenly awoken sexually after getting my health problems straightened out and I can't wait to get home and tackle my husband every night after work. At first he thought it was great, but last night he told me he "wasn't a sex object." I burst out laughing. This is the guy who complained bitterly for two years when I hardly wanted sex at all. I was stunned by his rejection and went out to a bar where I know people. One guy was quite interested in me as I got a little drunker, and told him my problem. He gave me his card, and said he'd like to help. Should I tell my husband? -- Tempted, St. Vital
Dear Tempted: If you need to guard yourself against cheating, you could tell your husband. But, that could backfire. It would probably make him feel like he was getting a warning to put out, or you'll go elsewhere. He has a right to say no to you, when he wants to. What if he flashed a woman's card in front of you and said, "This woman will take care of me sexually -- just letting you know." Try to be understanding. He's going to have off nights, and you will too, once you get used your new level of desire. Buy some toys for his off nights. Threatening him is not going to help.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend calls me Flakey, not because I'm a ditz but because my skin is so dry it flakes off. I am so mad and embarrassed I don't know what to do when he starts teasing me. I spend a lot of money on creams and oils to try to make my skin less dry -- no luck. I went to the skin doctor and he didn't seem to think I needed medication. My boyfriend takes great enjoyment in flicking a piece of white scale off my flakey arms. I know this is a petty problem but it's a big problem to me, and by the way I am not made of money. -- The "Flake," Osborne Village
Dear "Flake": Here's a trick people from the Far North teach southerners. Petroleum jelly like well-known Vaseline is an amazing moisturizer -- the plain inexpensive stuff used for diaper rash -- and it lasts longer than many expensive creams. Use Vaseline as liberally as you would a sunblock. It's a myth that it blocks your pores. Then get dressed. Make sure to put it on your face too. That's how many northerners endure severe cold and dry weather without severe wrinkling. Also, drink lots of liquids and hydrate your living space with a humidifier -- especially where you sleep. As for the really big flake in your life, brush him off for good. A guy who mocks you with insults and name-calling can destroy one's self-esteem.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email email@example.com
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 30, 2011 D5
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