Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Threesome turns gruesome

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend invited me over for a romantic dinner and she surprised me by having a friend dress up as a French maid to serve dinner. Then the "maid" led us to the bubbling hot tub. My girlfriend surprisingly stripped right off, so I did too. The maid came over with loofahs to do our backs and the music got really sexy and my girlfriend said, "Do you mind if she joins us?" The girlfriend didn't look at all surprised. I wasn't turned on to a threesome, and I don't particularly like the friend. She's got a reputation at the bar and she's not my type physically. I'd been feeling really excited by my girlfriend and the hot tub scene, so I said honestly, "Yes, I would mind. I just want to be with you." I thought she'd be flattered, but she said to her friend, with a red face: "I guess you'll have to go now," and everything got really awkward. She left, my girlfriend told me I was "rude and uncool" and I got dressed and went home. So what happened, Miss L.? I thought she gave me a choice! I don't get women at all.

-- Confused By Women, South End

 

Dear Confused: This "dinner" was planned to end up as a threesome and both your girlfriend and her hot buddy had counted on YOU as dessert. But, it wasn't about giving you a good time. It was about your giving the two girlfriends a wild experience. You messed up their plans, and rejected No. 3. Now she's probably upset with your girlfriend for putting her in that situation. Too bad! You don't pounce on anyone sexually. Group sex requires a lot of etiquette. In this case your girlfriend should have asked you privately if you wanted to try this scene, and with this certain person. The discussion should have included what you'd be willing to do, and not do. With three willing participants decided and filled-in on the scene, you could play without worries. Although your girlfriend is trying to make you feel "rude and uncool," she's the one who should apologize. As for your relationship with her, she's willing to share you like a toy, with no jealousy, which means she's not in love with you. Do you care more for her? Think about it.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I wrote your column about my live-in's visiting cousin eating three granola bars and my speaking up. I saw in online comments that many people thought I was "rude" and "petty" and "small-minded." I'd like to clear up any confusion 1. I bought the expensive $11.50 a box granola bars with MY SAVED UP MONEY for my boyfriend's lunches and mine. 2. My parents don't support me (they are not alive, thank you very much). 3. I hid the bars in the pantry with the door CLOSED. 4. His cousin never opened the cereal be brought, and took all of his food home. 5. Three granola bars in one sitting is a bit gluttonous if you ask me, considering we did offer him whatever else he wanted. 6.) The granola box was full when he arrived, half a box left when he went home.

-- Appalled, Winnipeg

 

Dear Appalled: The warm and generous spirit of hosting a family guest was totally missing! Bean counting, or in this case, granola bar counting, is not part of making a person feel welcome. Nor is chastising a guest for what he ate. No doubt your live-in boyfriend is thinking twice about you, now you've showed this side of yourself towards his family. No matter how you justify it financially, you can't deny you blew it with him. He and his cousin were both shocked. And, Cuz took home the remainder of the food he was told to buy, responding in kind to your behaviour.

 

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

 

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 10, 2009 D4

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