Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Who needs a hubby who puts his family first?

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My first wedding anniversary is coming up this Sunday and I'm dreading it. It seems like my husband has to spend every one of our milestones with his immediate family, and I'm usually left on the sidelines, while he does something with them. We got engaged in 2009 on his birthday, and his parents, sister and nephews were there. We got married last summer, and he spent our wedding night drinking with his parents and other family members! I was crying all night, regretting getting married to someone who never wants to celebrate anything with me. So, now our first wedding anniversary is this weekend and his sister planned her birthday party on our anniversary. He chose to go to her birthday party instead of spending the day with me. We're going camping with some of his friends but the camping trip needs to be cut short because of the birthday party. I feel jealous! He'll go out of his way for his family, and could care less about making me feel special, EVER. What should I do? -- Feelin' Lonely

Dear Lonely: Write back and tell me why you knowingly married this man a year ago when you knew he was married to his family. You chose him, despite knowing he's totally unromantic. He hopes you'll be part of the family unit and he isn't big on the marriage unit as anything different and distinct. What made you think he would change? By and large, people don't change their basic attitudes. And unromantic people don't become romantic after saying wedding vows. On top of that, he's insensitive and doesn't care how you feel. Is this who you want to be married to all your life? You may want to exit before you have any babies.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend dumped me about three months ago. I know that he is dating another woman. I've seen them together. I can't stand her; I still love this man. I can't stop thinking of him. I think of him almost every day and I wish I could break them up, and see us getting back together again. What can I do? Any advice? -- Still in Love, Wpg.

Dear Still in Love: Stay away from this couple! If the world were all about you and your feelings, your letter would make sense. But this boyfriend has the right to decide he doesn't want you and the right to be left alone with the person he does choose. Feelings like yours can end up being dangerous. Look for a man who's much like him, if you wish, but don't think for one moment that breaking your ex up would make him want you back. He would just end up hating and fearing you as a malicious person. It's finished with this guy. One "no" vote is all it takes. Stay far away from this guy and his new girlfriend and focus your desires elsewhere. If you can't do that, seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist before you go out making trouble for other people and yourself.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition July 26, 2011 C3

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