Miss Lonelyhearts

Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Who's the real buffoon in this impulsive marriage?

By: Miss LonelyHearts / Maureen Scurfield

Posted: 11/18/2009 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new husband is a joker and thinks he's very funny with his ridiculous school boy tricks. Last night I was mad at him so he went into the bedroom, tied my favorite red lace panties in a knot and handed them back to me sayng, "Don't get your knickers in a twist!" I couldn't laugh. It wasn't funny, just stupid and inane, worthy of a 13-year-old, and he stretched my expensive underwear. You're probably wondering if he was like this when I married him, and I'm ashamed to say yes, but I thought it was adorable then, because my ex-husband had no sense of humour at all, and I hadn't experienced the entire repertoire of these dumb gags. Now I've had them 1,000 times over. And yes, we got marrried impulsively. I know I'm raining on his parade, but I can't stand much more of this and it's turning me off him sexually and every other way. I married a buffoon -- and he's my second husband and it's not going to last unless he changes. I can't stand him the way he is. Help! -- Two-Time Loser, Winnipeg

Dear Loser: Changes into what -- somebody else? Why should he? You raced to the altar before you knew exactly who you were marrying and what it'd be like to be his daily partner. Before a second a marriage, it's wise to take twice as long checking out the person. You did what most people do who are reacting to an unsuitable partner. You went to the opposite end of the pendulum swing and grabbed onto that. This man you married did nothing to fool you. He has been a joker since Day One. You can't blame him, though the temptation is to call him names now (like "buffoon") for the same things you called adorable months back. Chances are you're going to go on to a third husband or a fourth if you don't slow down, get counselling help, figure out what you want and give yourself ample time to heal without grabbing onto someone else. When you do, take at least two years to get to know him -- by going around the seasons twice and travelling with him for the 24/7 experience.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm very sad and ashamed about this predicament. I told a lie about someone in my school and it went around and got even worse and then got back to the original person. The thing I said wasn't nice, but it wasn't awful, like the way it ended up. I went up and apologized to the boy and his eyes filled with tears and he walked away. I just feel so bad. What else can I do to repair what I have done. If I tell him the original thing I said, won't that just open up the wound again? -- So Sorry, Winnipeg

Dear Sorry: At this point you should go see a guidance counsellor or a close teacher, in the school, and ask what you should be done to repair the situation at this point. The answer may be to leave him alone now, or it may be you can set some people straight on the truth of the matter as opposed to the rumour that went around and grew. He may have had enough of you, but be able to talk to the counsellor as an intermediary, while you go out and reverse the rumour.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 18, 2009 D2

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