Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
Would you still love him if he didn't have money?
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm in my 30s and just met an exciting man with tons of money, five years older than I am. I think I'm falling in love with him, but I don't know how much of it is because of his money. He gave me this little speech early on, "I'm going to tell you this now, as you will doubtless hear it around Winnipeg -- I make a lot of money in my business. I know part of your attraction for me may be the money, but please don't feel badly about that. If you also end up loving me for who I am, it's just fine." Well, that got me thinking. I was brought up as a good Mennonite. The last thing I would do is take somebody into my life for their money. But, I have to admit, it has a certain allure. Now I lie in bed and ask myself, "How much is love for him, and how much is money and the experiences it can buy?" I am a woman of modest means with no children and a decent full-time job. He wants to take me travelling all over the world and then have a baby. The whole idea thrills me and he is very kind and sexy. What do you think? -- Second Guesser, St. Vital
Dear Second Guesser: Wealthy people can lose their money in bad investments, especially in these dangerous economic times. Would you still love this man if he had to bring his suitcases and come and live at your place and share the rent? If that idea is disgusting to you, you're probably not in love with the man. If it doesn't bother you, you probably love him for more than the money. Another way to measure your own sincerity is by how happy you are when you are with him, and when you are thinking about him. If you are daydreaming about the trips you'll take and not about him, you're just in love with the ticket money. But if you thinking of being with HIM in a romantic way on these trips -- emotional and sexual -- you could be in love with the man. If you do decide to marry him one day, don't spoil things by acting guilty about his money. Sign a decent pre-nup vetted by your lawyer (if he asks for one) and then forget it and enjoy everything with him!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just met the love of a previous life again. He is so familiar to me! I am sure I knew him in another life. I would like to go to a psychic and find out, but what if I find out he was my brother in a former life? Yech! What do you think? I am head-over-high-heels in love with this man who seems so familiar. -- Long lost What? Winnipeg
Dear Long Lost: He may have the best qualities of a man you once loved -- or a combination of men you have loved and that may include qualities from some family members. Don't mess up your head and heart with all this past-life worry. Don't go see a psychic about this; just let it ride. Enjoy the person who seems wonderfully familiar to you to the hilt.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A very bad ex-girlfriend has been sniffing around my house lately and I mean literally. I know she has used her old key to get in my house because I smelled her perfume when I got home one day and parked in the front. I hear a car squealing out down the back lane as I came into my home. Nothing was taken that I know of. Why was she in my house? -- Creeped Out, St. James
Dear Creeped Out: In the time it takes to get someone over to change those locks you will have your privacy back again. You don't even need to call her. Unless you want to leave her a "don't ever come back again" message on her voicemail when she's out. Next time she comes back -- if she ever does -- she will discover the old keys don't work and she was found out.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition September 8, 2011 D8
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