Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

You might be addicted to a woman who doesn't love you

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It's been a year since I kicked my wife out of the house, because I caught her cheating on me twice. The first time I forgave her but the second time I couldn't. The other problem is I was very sick at the time and so I told her to leave because I didn't want her fake pity. She said it was not fake, but as soon as I was out of the hospital, she started coming home later and later, and going through my mind was "Is she doing it again, so I would ask. She would get mad and it'd continue until I'd had enough. The problem is this: Why do I still care for her wellbeing and safety? She treated me like crap, left me at home by myself from afternoon till late at night waiting and wondering. Am I crazy for having these feelings? I did treat her very well, never missed a special day or time in her life and I don't think I deserve what I got in the end. -- Nothing But Lies

Dear Nothing: If only love were about what we deserve! If only it were about justice, instead of capricious feelings that may come and go for the other person -- and for you. Think about this. It's clear your wife has lost the taboo against cheating, if she ever had one. Getting caught may be her only concern in relationships. It's time for you to let go of her emotionally. Whether you love her or not is not the issue, oddly enough. You may be addicted to her. Think about this: A man may love the bottle, but it doesn't love him. A guy might love his drugs, and break the law and risk his life to buy them -- but the drugs don't love him back. This woman may like you, but she doesn't love you and she doesn't treat you with respect. There are other women in the world you can love even if you still have a corner of your heart reserved for this one. She let go a while back; now you must let go, too, and find someone who loves you, too.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm 18. I am a little shy to admit I have been having sex with someone I don't know very well. In fact, I asked him not to use last names. I like playing this game. But, now he wants to know my name and where I live and all about me. I told him I wouldn't tell and he says he can find out anyway. What should I do now? -- Games Player, Osborne Village

Dear Player: There's a mean streak in your behaviour. This guy went along with your game for a while but now he wants to knock it off and be real with you. That's normal. He wants to get to know the person he's in bed with. If you don't like him well enough to let him know your name and address, then tell him, "I'm sorry for being like this, and I'm going to do you a favour and get out of your life." Actually, you're playing roulette with danger. Sooner or later you will meet someone who's meaner than you are. Talk to a counsellor about this, after you say goodbye to this poor guy.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 17, 2011 D8

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

The greening of Elphaba the Wicked Witch in Wicked

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A mother goose has chosen a rather busy spot to nest her eggs- in the parking lot of St Vital Centre on a boulevard. Countless cars buzz by and people have begun to bring it food.-Goose Challenge Day 06 - May 08, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • Jia Ping Lu practices tai chi in Assiniboine Park at the duck pond Thursday morning under the eye of a Canada goose  - See Bryksa 30 Day goose challenge Day 13- May 17, 2012   (JOE BRYKSA / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Do high-profile endorsements for political candidates influence your voting decisions?

View Results

View Related Story

Ads by Google