Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

You need counselling for your manipulative behaviour

  • Print

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife is from another country and she is the passionate jealous type. After she has been jealous of me at a party, where I consciously do some flirting with a pretty woman, she drags me home early and we have a fight, and then the hottest make-up sex! I had too much to drink on New Year's Eve and mentioned this phenomenon to her, and she went cold. When we got home, she quietly slept in the guest room and has every night since. When I asked her why, she said, "You used my painful emotions against me to get hotter sex for three years now. You are a manipulator and I see who you really are. I HATE who you are underneath!" I said, "Will you ever feel different?" and she said, "I don't know." Now what do I do? I really, really love her and would never cheat on her. -- World's Biggest Loser, River Heights

Dear Loser: Why should she trust you, the way you are now? "I'm soooo sorry" isn't enough. You fed your wife's painful jealousy by consciously flirting with other women -- so you'd get hot sex later. Then you mocked her by bragging to her face about how you manipulated her. That's cruel behaviour. Your only chance? You need to see a psychologist about what you did, and try to work out the dynamics behind it so you can make a meaningful change. That will take more than a few visits. She may or may not trust you have changed by the time you're finished, but you need to do it for yourself anyway.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met the "love of my life" while on holiday in Mexico this Christmas and then he went home to Australia. I have never met such a complete and instant perfect match for me. I emailed him as soon as I got back to Winnipeg and told him this, and that I loved him." He emailed me back saying "Truthfully, you're not such a good match for me long-term. Sorry. We had a lot of fun and I think you're a great girl." After I stopped crying, I began to see what an egotistical jerk he was and how my letter had massaged his pride to the point where he thought he was a god. How could I have been so completely taken in? Was he pretending those two weeks in Mexico? It was like a fairy tale and he was my Prince. How could he kiss me good-bye with tears in his eyes and then go back to Australia and write me that I'm NOT what he's looking for? -- Taken In, Winnipeg

Dear Taken In: When you were in Mexico, your man was playing a marvelous Prince Charming in a romantic stage play with you, with the ocean as your backdrop. It's not so hard to do for two weeks -- being on one's best behaviour, on a holiday with no stress. There's nothing much to do but have fun and great sex and go out to dinners and walk in the evening breezes. He gave you a two-week bubble of perfection, and bought into the romance to the point he cried just before the curtain came down. The difference between you two? While being romantic, he still allowed himself to see you clearly. But, you were wearing glasses with a fine mist across the lens. That's why he knew you weren't right for each other long-term and you couldn't see his imperfections. Forgive this guy and try to file this under Romantic Holiday Memories. He's not a horrible guy. At least he told you the truth as soon as he found out you weren't just "being romantic" on holiday, but truly felt it.

lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition January 12, 2012 D3

Fact Check

Fact Check

Have you found an error, or know of something we’ve missed in one of our stories?
Please use the form below and let us know.

* Required
  • Please post the headline of the story or the title of the video with the error.

  • Please post exactly what was wrong with the story.

  • Please indicate your source for the correct information.

  • Yes

    No

  • This will only be used to contact you if we have a question about your submission, it will not be used to identify you or be published.

  • Cancel

Having problems with the form?

Contact Us Directly
  • Print

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

You can comment on most stories on winnipegfreepress.com. You can also agree or disagree with other comments. All you need to do is be a Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscriber to join the conversation and give your feedback.

Have Your Say

New to commenting? Check out our Frequently Asked Questions.

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press print or e-edition subscribers only. why?

Have Your Say

Comments are open to Winnipeg Free Press Subscribers only. why?

The Winnipeg Free Press does not necessarily endorse any of the views posted. By submitting your comment, you agree to our Terms and Conditions. These terms were revised effective April 16, 2010.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

LATEST VIDEO

Humans of the Holidays

View more like this

Photo Store Gallery

  • A group of Horese pose for the camera in the early evening light at Southcreek Stables in Stl Norbert Wednessday. Sept  14, 2011 (RUTH BONNEVILLE) / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS)
  • PHIL HOSSACK / WINNIPEG FREE PRESS 060710 The full moon rises above the prairie south of Winnipeg Monday evening.

View More Gallery Photos

Poll

Now that former cabinet minister Theresa Oswald has entered the NDP leadership race, do you believe the "gang of five" rebel ministers were right to publicly criticize Premier Greg Selinger's leadership?

View Results

Ads by Google