You need to make some new girlfriends

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm one of the few people in this world whose best friend is the opposite sex. I listen to his pain and joys -- and now find out he's engaged. I'm happy for him but my envy leads me to tears every day. I'm glad that he's found someone to spend his life with and I so much want the same. But, it's hard find someone to love when my work doesn't allow me the freedom to go out and date. I can't tell you the disasters I have found online. Even he tells me not to look, that I don't need that right now. What right does he have to find someone, fall in love and get engaged and tell me I shouldn't do the same? I feel so alone. I don't have many friends and the ones I do have are all in relationships. One even hid an engagement from me. Can you please give me some guidance and stop these days of tears. Thanks for lending an ear. --

Stuck in an Emotional Rut, South Winnipeg

Dear Stuck: It's hard to be feeling like the last one on the dock when camp ends. If you hang out with a bunch of people who are getting engaged, and that's your only crowd, you're bound to feel left out. What you need to do is cultivate an additional group of girlfriends (forget the platonic guy who fills most of your needs with men) who are single. Put all your energy into meeting new girlfriends this summer, and they will put you in a milieu to meet new guy friends. One last word: Were you a little bit "in love' with this male best friend? Could this reaction of crying have to do with that? Or are you depressed and need some counselling and perhaps medication. Crying every day is not normal, and you may need some professional help at this time. See your doctor and be very open about the daily tears and the overwhelming sadness. As for your platonic male friend, it's easy to say you should be happy to go hungry while he eats. Tell him what nonsense that is and to keep his smug advice to himself. Consider distancing yourself a little from him now.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my mom and she has a very cute boyfriend, but he looks at me much too closely. The other day he said to me, while Mom was not around, "You are very attractive. Your mom must have looked just like you when she was young. You are a very beautiful girl. Don't tell your mother I said that. Let it be our little secret." Should I tell my mom what he said? I feel very uncomfortable, like I'm holding a dirty secret. I really don't wan to hurt and disappoint my mom. She is so happy with him. -- Sick to My Stomach, Wpg.

Dear Sick: You need to tell her. No young person has to keeps some adult's creepy come-on behaviour secret so as not to hurt Mom. She WANTS to know who is hitting on her daughter, even if it's a boyfriend who APPEARS to be making her happy at the moment. Tell her word-for-word what he said especially the part about keeping the story it from her. If she's any kind of mother, she will want to get rid of this creep.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 24, 2011 D5