DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I accidentally on purpose left some intimate clothing in the bed of my new boyfriend as I suspected he still had his former girlfriend in the picture somewhere. My underwear had the desired effect, as the (rhymes with witch) found it, and she dug around in his phone numbers and found out who I was and left me a message on my phone. I've never been called so many dirty names in my life which just goes to show how classy a girl she ISN'T. At the end she said, "He's all yours! You can have him!" but she was crying by then so I don't believe her. When I planted the bra and panties, I had thought I wanted to get him for my boyfriend exclusively, but now I'm not sure I want him. He said he was very sorry and then he said, "I think I am falling in love with you." Do you believe him? -- Wanting To Believe, But Not Sure, West End
Dear Wanting: He's a liar and a player. Right now he's playing the one card he's got left -- you -- and he knows the "love" word trumps bad behaviour with some women. Don't let him fool you. Was he feeling this growing "love" for you when he was still seeing his so-called ex and having sex with her? Or, is this a sudden realization now he only has one women left? I'd vote for the latter. Did he actually ever break up with her or is that just what he told you? Think about it. My best advice is to leave this guy in the dust and save your sexy lingerie for someone you can actually trust.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When my girlfriend eats with her mouth open, you can really see the food because she talks at the same time. In fact, she talks all the time, which is often quite cute, when she's not eating. I'm a relatively quiet guy and she fills in the spaces and entertains us both. We have been together for two months and now I am finding this eating thing pretty disgusting. Last night at a BBQ dinner I made for her, I lost my cool, and told her I could see everything in her mouth. She sat there with big tears running down her face and her mouth clamped shut on the burger she had been gobbling with a blob of salad dressing sitting on her bottom lip. I apologized like crazy, but she said, "I can't eat another bite in front of you!' Then she grabbed her purse and took the bus home. I sat down beside the barbecue and felt like a jerk. Miss L., I was taught basic manners and I expect them in other people. Some of my friends are pigs, but I expect that from guys. She's not responding to my texts or Facebook messages. I don't want to lose her! I just want her to change that one thing. -- Picky Guy, River Heights
Dear Picky: Good luck. She may change that one thing for the next guy, but if she's a combination of outgoing and sensitive, you may have blown this for yourself. You could try flowers or a sweet phone call with a funny made-up singing apology to try to jolly her into coming back. But, I'm betting she'll be too embarrassed to get back with you, no matter what you do. When you apologize, just concentrate on the "I'm an oaf"' thing. You don't have to make any more comments about her bad table manners, as she's already gotten that message loud and clear, and she won't forget it.
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