Your body doesn't lie -- he's not 'the one'

He did cheat on me a year ago but I went to counselling and resolved a lot of the problem because I really did feel as though he was THE ONE...

Recently, I've just been so overwhelmed with feelings of resentment because he doesn't appreciate the things I do for him. When is it my turn to be taken care of?

Because of these feelings, our sex life is virtually non-existent and I'm starting to wonder if it's all worth it. I love him and the idea of losing him just hurts me so much but sometimes I wonder if I am "in-love" or just love him. -- Should I Stay or Should I Go? Winnipeg

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: You care, but you're not "in love," which requires admiration and respect. Cheating before the marriage is a good predictor of what will happen after the marriage, and it may already be happening again since your sex life is "virtually non-existent."

It's clear you should go now, before there's a wedding and babies with this man. He cheated on you, and YOU tried to patch it over. Still, you feel resentment towards him for the offhand way he acts when you give your all.

Plus, you're a woman. Your body doesn't lie about how you really feel about this man; it's not co-operating because he isn't a good choice of mate for you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm an adult female who's all for women's rights but I actually agree with "Grandpa" that he has no option but to stare at the teens who set their "goods" out on display.

If those girls choose to dress that way and their parents don't care that they leave the house dressed trashier than the local streetwalkers, then they shouldn't complain about the attention they obviously crave.

I, and anyone I know, would look at a teen wearing a skirt barely covering their arse with bare legs and high heeled boots with cleavage to the max... not because it looks good, but because we wonder if they have parents who care about them or what they charge for their extra services.

If they don't want that kind of attention then they shouldn't t dress that way. You can look good without exposing your "T & A." Does the term "teaser" come to mind? -- Disgusted

Dear Disgusted: No, THAT word doesn't come to mind when I see a young girl in sexy clothes. In fact, it never comes to mind when I see a young woman in revealing clothes.

I might be worried some jerk will mistake her for someone he can hit on, but I feel protective, not derisive. On nude beaches, where people are starkers, people are pleasant and respectful towards each other -- and don't leer or stare.

There's no excuse for gawking at people's lovely bits, except for an imperceptible glance -- which is normal when you look at anyone.

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition February 16, 2010 D3