Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm turned on by men in authority -- and find myself going after professors, policemen, even bus drivers. I always want the guy who's "large and in charge" of anything I'm doing. In my high school years I went after a teacher and caused him lots of grief. I was a pretty girl and drove him crazy in every class with sexy clothing, leg crossing, sex-filled essays, clear hints and finally direct invitations to have sex. He didn't give in, and reported my actions to my parents and the principal. I still went after him (more subtly) and made his life hell in Grade 12. No guy my age had ever refused me before, and I loved the challenge. Now I have a career, and I am fighting myself not to seduce the boss, who's a toad. Maybe I am nuts. Is there something wrong with me? My mother says so. Why am I like this? -- Power Queen, Brandon
Dear Power Queen: Power has always been a big turn-on for some women, especially if they don't feel they have it themselves. Sports and rock star groupies, younger women going after Big Daddies -- all looking to be linked to big shots. You're a hunter by nature, but you hunt in your own backyard with a kids' bow and arrow. Even going after the teacher was lazy hunting, as your prey was right there in front of you, trapped in the same classroom.... The power dynamic has changed for you recently. You're educated now with a career. Instead of looking for borrowed power, it's time to shoot for power for yourself. Then join clubs and associations where you can meet men of power -- men who are exciting and available and will give you a run for it. Going after your boss is still packing a little bow and arrow. Do see a psychologist to find out the origins of your resentment towards men, and why you harbour a lack of self-esteem under your bravado. Those knots are well worth untying for a happier future.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think about sex 18 hours a day and dream about it every night. It's all I want. I have a good job in sales, and it allows me to flirt with women all day because they have all the buying power. I have sex with some women I just met in the most unusual places. Lucky for me, I am a good-looking guy, pump weights, wear the right clothes. I can spot a lonely, hot woman at 100 yards. My problem now? I just got herpes and my doctor told me I had to tell every woman I have sex with BEFORE I do it, then use a condom and take pills every day. I am an honest guy and don't want to hurt women. I love them! But this herpes thing is cramping my style. I can't get the H-word out so I'm letting chances go by. When I do tell a prospect I have it in my system, "but I'm not symptomatic right now" they back off anyway. I don't want to be a one- man woman with some babe who also has herpes. Is this my horrible fate? Help! -- H-Victim, Winnipeg
Dear Victim: Face facts, hot stuff. Your days of one-hour stands with women from all over town are over. Thank God you're honest. Herpes outbreaks tend to get less painful and fewer in number over the years, but you're at the start. You need all the help you can get in warding off attacks, so taking medication that keeps the outbreaks away makes a lot of sense. You need a woman who cares about you now, because no woman with any sense is going to take a chance on having sex with a casual partner if you could infect her with herpes. She has no emotional investment in you. Maybe this is what you needed -- a turn-around. Maybe now you will be able to find out what it means to fall in love. You had a big run on the sex circuit; now it's time to try the relationship circuit. Your new partner doesn't necessarily have to have herpes to be a match, but she needs to care about you as a person, and you have to be very protective of her health when she's with you.
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