Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION
You're just gathering intel, so try to stay sober
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Years ago I was quickly married to an Irish-Canadian guy and we had a young, tempestuous, mostly sexual relationship. We never got along outside of bed because we were both selfish and immature. It soon hit the rocks with a divorce. He wasn't ready for marriage. I could never forget him totally -- my first lover and my first love. We had no kids together. Recently he has come free and, as a little joke, we have agreed to meet for a drink on St. Patrick's Day at the bar where we first met. I am also a free agent the last year, after a bad separation and I'm heading for a definite divorce. Miss L., I'm writing to you because I'm scared I will fall for him again! Am I a fool for doing this thing? I am a bit lonely. Please write me back on St. Pat's day, if you can, as I will be a nervous wreck, and tell me how to behave. We could never leave each other alone and were known to leave in the middle of a restaurant dinner to go home and jump into bed. Disgusting, I know, but that's how we reacted to one another. -- In His Palm Again? St. Vital
Dear Palm: There's nothing like a deep sexual attraction to mess up the most cautious of plans. Let's go for damage control: try to treat this is a fact-finding mission, not a date. Don't dress up too much or you will look like a lamb to the slaughter. "Dressy casual" will be good enough. Don't wear your nicest panties and don't gulp down nervous drinks. If you're reasonably sober and have a mental list of questions you'd like to ask, you'll be OK for a while, at least. Let's hope he's lost his looks and his charm, or he's finally grown up -- and so have you!
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I've been living with a roommate who's a guy for just two weeks and already things are starting to hit trouble. I thought it'd be cool because I have a boyfriend (who lives at home still ). Anyway, when my boyfriend goes home to sleep after being in my bedroom for two hours, I have to deal with this guy who wants to stay up and watch movies with me (I'm a nighthawk). He makes me stuff to eat and drink and acts like he's my boyfriend. But this morning took the cake! He was parading around in his underwear before going to university and I could see I was having an effect on him, if you know what I mean, even though I was totally dressed for work. How do I tell him, after two weeks he has to stop courting me or pack and leave? I hold the lease myself. -- Big Mistake, Downtown Wpg.
Dear Mistake: Give him one chance. Call a meeting and tell him you notice he's trying to put the moves on you when your boyfriend's not around. Say that was not ever supposed to be part of the deal. Tell him he has to get back out with his own pals and girlfriends or you will be asking him to leave ASAP. That should pour enough cold water over his head that he either decides to leave, or he turns a cold shoulder out of embarrassment.
Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 17, 2010 D3
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