Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

You're not death proof

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met a 22-year-old woman I love and she's the worst driver in the world. She's almost killed us three times in the last month. I'm afraid for my life! She texts and answers her cell phone and she's a terrible judge of distance and space. Yesterday we were driving with the window down for a bit and she was yakking on the cell, and ended up riding the white line. She had to swerve to miss someone. The driver rolled down the window and screamed at her, "Get off your $@#& cell phone, you idiot!" but she didn't take it seriously. She said he had road rage problems and should be reported. I said, "Pull over." I took hold of her cell, and threw it in the backseat. Then we had a terrible fight and I got out and took the bus home. I love her, and want her back. I don't have my own car and she takes me to school. What do you suggest? -- At the Crossroads, River Heights

Dear Crossroads: You've been dating Possible Death. How much luck can be left? Three times you escaped with your life so far. You really want to continue with this careless woman, when there's more than one soulmate for you in this city, even at your school? Think into the future, even five to seven years. Would you want her as the mother of your babies, driving them in the car, risking their little lives? Ultimatums are generally odious, but it's time for one, if you decide to keep this dangerous girlfriend. Tell her clearly, "No cell phone in the front seat if you're with me driving, or we're through." Because she's a bad driver to begin with, you'll still have to worry she's going to get you both maimed or killed, or she'll cream someone else and hurt them. Get a seasonal part-time job, or a loan for a small car, and don't let the temptation of a free ride keep you, when the possible cost is death.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'd like to kill my boss. She owns a business and she's in her 50s -- old enough to know better. She says things like, "Hey, Stupid. Look what you did!" or "You little nincompoop. Why do I keep paying you?" There is no personnel complaint department in this small company and I need to keep my job. I dread coming to work some mornings so badly I throw up before I leave home. The reason she gets away with this is she pays way better than anyone else, because she's such a tyrant and can't keep staff any other way. -- Trapped by Money, Selkirk, Mb.

Dear Trapped: Nobody should put up with the stress you do. If abuse at work is badly stressing you, and you spend your leisure hours trying to de-stress, then everything in your life is about that lousy job, except when you're sleeping. Then you're probably having nightmares. You could cobble together two part-time jobs for awhile, jobs that make you comfortable. So ask yourself this: "If this workplace closed its doors today, what would I do to survive?" You'd find a way somehow. So, start by getting a great modern skills-oriented resume together gleaned from jobs, hobbies, clubs, travel, family living, do-it-yourself projects, and volunteer work. Then access the job banks online, visit a Canada Employment office for counselling, notify any friends that could help, and quietly find a better job.



Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 5, 2009 D5

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