Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

You've been turkey dumped, just move on

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend came home from university for Thanksgiving and dumped me. She's in first year and I'm in second, and living at home. She swears there's no other guy, but she's lying. She didn't want to have sex when she got home, and she usually wants all she can get. She was extra polite to my parents -- sweet as pie, totally out of character. Then she dumped me in 15 minutes after dinner and collected her CDs from the living room where my parents were sitting. At first, I was stunned, but now I'm mad. I feel like flying out there to find out the truth -- if there's another guy, and how long she's been playing me! I'll never get the truth out of her now unless I go. -- What's Going On, River Heights

Dear Going On: You're a victim of the old Turkey Dump. Your sweetheart flies home from university for Thanksgiving and gets rid of the ball-and-chain just before leaving, so he or she can pursue the new college hotties. You're hurt, but get a grip on yourself fast, m'boy. There's no point in flying out there to make a desperate fool of yourself. No means no, in this country. Look at it this way, you just got out of jail yourself. Now you can connect with a woman here in Winnipeg who can hold you and make love to you and be your baby.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Could I just share something? I was in my 40s and a single mom. My kids were about to leave home. I wondered, "Where is my match -- the one you find when you're both ready. You don't have to "make it work" because you're a fit. I only went on about two dozen coffee dates in two years, focusing on meeting people and enjoying activities. I usually did the asking, even with my shy now-husband, because he thought I was out of his league, which still makes me laugh. Ladies, seriously, we often know about an hour into the conversation when it "ain't gonna work," but some women hope for the best and waste months off the market. When I met my husband at 43, I knew he "felt like home" -- the kind of guy I always desired. If you keep picking jerks, you're not ready for that special man to enter the picture. You won't recognize him! -- Happy Result, Winnipeg

Dear Happy: Lucky you! Your brain's sorting mechanism could get to work scanning for you because you knew exactly what you wanted. Less lucky people also want to meet their match, but don't know what on Earth that'd be the second time round. They're best to answer this: "What kind of person is my ideal mate at this point?"

Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press 1355 Mountain Ave. Wpg R2X 3B6 or email lovecoach@hotmail.com

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition October 22, 2009 D5

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