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Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Monogamous marriage a prison to 'free spirit'

Posted: 06/10/2014 1:00 AM | Comments: 0

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want something I'd call "lovers without borders." I'm a free spirit by nature and won't be told what I can and can't do with my body. I shocked myself by falling in love with a Winnipeg guy -- my best friend -- and am suddenly committed to an engagement with a huge diamond ring. And this week, my fiancé shocked me further by saying, "Now we must be true to each other. That's what the ring means."

I didn't say much. We both travel for work. We were pals first, and totally honest about our adventurous sex lives here and out of town. I planned to keep on seeing my occasional sweethearts in different cities. I don't want to stop that, but he seems to have realized he wants monogamy from me.

What I want, if anything, is a primary home husband and my out-of-country lovers here and there. What should I do now: break it off and humiliate him? If we did, would I get to keep the ring, or have to give it back? -- Refuse to be Jailed, Winnipeg

 

Dear Refuse: Give the big rock back, sister. You don't want a traditional marriage and your guy has realized he does -- that's a big disconnect right there. You should break it off right now with a minimum of embarrassment for him. You can even let him say it was his idea, so he can save face. Or, you can keep your mouth shut and go ahead with the marriage, keep messing around and then get divorced later in a big emotional and financial mess.

You're not ready for marriage and you're not deeply in love with this man. So, put the big diamond ring back in the box, hand it back and apologize from the bottom of your adventurous little heart.

By the way, a woman with class doesn't have to ask if she should make a bid for the ring. Of course you shouldn't!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a cute guy at The Forks. We spent all the afternoon together, held hands, went walking and kissed by the river endlessly. At the end of the afternoon, his friend showed up in a truck to give him a ride home. He lives in the country.

My guy got in the truck fast, and I signalled for him to roll down the window. I asked when we would see each other again. He said quickly he was "tied up." His friend said, "What is she talking about?" He said, "Don't worry. She's just a friend. Nothing happened."

He didn't even turn and answer me, just rolled the window back up, like I no longer existed. The two guys were yelling at each other. Then his friend squealed out of the parking lot and drove away. What exactly happened to me? -- Innocent, 17, North End

 

Dear Innocent: We can't be 100 per cent sure what happened, but here's a good guess: the guy you spend that romantic afternoon with is probably seeing or is attached to someone the driver cares about -- a friend or relative (like his cousin or sister) -- back home. Your Romeo was probably hearing about that as they barrelled down the road home. Don't expect to see this guy again, and don't waste your time waiting on the riverbank for Chapter 2. This guy got caught.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have six teeth missing. My kids are always telling me to go get them replaced because they make me look "less intelligent" than I am. I look like a bag lady. I have 2.5 university degrees and a well-paying job where I work from home. But I have a secret phobia. I am terrified of dental work going on in my mouth. Getting all those teeth would cost me a fortune, too. The kids say they will even pay for it, because they all have good jobs and are in their early 30s. I don't know what to tell them. I am too scared! -- Big Baby, Winnipeg

 

Dear Baby: You could start by seeing a psychologist about your fear of dental work. Then you could investigate which dental offices use which practices, to do extensive dental work like yours in Winnipeg. Modern dentistry is nothing like what you may be imagining, nor does it take a lot of time in the chair. Just reading about new techniques may set some of your fears to rest and allow you to make a visit "on spec." If anyone has overcome this problem and gotten the extensive dental work they needed, please write in and we will publish your letter in an upcoming column.

 

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition June 10, 2014 C12

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