DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I'm so (flipping) mad! I broke my ankle and my husband refuses to "wait on" me. I've waited on him for 21 years in our old-fashioned marriage. We have no kids, so I've directed my whole life towards cooking, baking and cleaning for him, not to mention all the time and effort I have put in, catering to his unusual sexual whims. Get this: He still expects me to limp to the kitchen and cook his big manly man dinner every night, just like before. If I don't cook, there's no dinner. He goes off to a restaurant and I eat a cold sandwich. He's in construction and works early mornings. I'm not going to get up at 5 a.m., use my crutches to limp down the hall and make his bacon and eggs. He goes to McDonald's drive-thru. I'm having the groceries sent in as he won't get them and we live in a three-storey walk-up. Does he not know how bored I am with nothing but soaps all day? I can't even go to the casino with my girlfriends. He says the fact I've totally stopped working at home shows I'm nothing but a leech. Do you think he's just mad because the sex stopped? -- Broken Ankle, Winnipeg
Dear Broken Ankle: What's really going on? Are you thinking of this as payback time? Clearly, he's angry because you don't want any kind of sex and you've totally stopped helping at home, using the ankle excuse. Why can't you use your crutches? Most people do. Is this now your excuse to sit and do nothing but watch the soaps? Broken limbs and crutches aren't fun -- been there, done that -- but they work and you may soon have a walking-boot cast instead. Look, you and I both know, you can easily throw meat and veggies in the oven or a low cooker for your husband's dinner. If you really want to go out, you can learn to do the steps on crutches. And, I found out myself, coming down steps on your bottom is quite easy. Sex on a comfy bed is totally possible, if you really want to, but you don't. What's up with that?
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Not My Fault, the menopausal lady considering moving out of the bedroom. My menopause started at age 49, and at age 82 there is no significant improvement, but don't be discouraged. This is not a disease, nor are you in pain. Yes it's a damn nuisance, but you can adjust with the right attitude. My flashes are never more than two hours apart and sometimes less. They will not stop me from doing things I want to do, like dancing three times a week, and my life is very good. Tell your husband to suck it up -- it isn't him who's putting up with it. A wet face cloth by your bed helps at night. -- Great Grandmother, Winnipeg
Dear Great: How about you? You shouldn't have 33 years of hot flashes and certainly not two or three hours apart! If you want to get rid of your flashes, a visit to a gynecologist could probably change that scenario for you in a hurry. Or are you past caring about it? Want a little help? Check out 10 carefully considered products at a consumers website for menopause treatments at www.consumerhealthanswers.com.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6