DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I met my best girlfriend ever at a Halloween party two years ago. She dumped me on Halloween at the same guy's bash last year because of this ritual we have. It's a game at midnight. All the wimps go home or off to the bar and the adventurous ones play this game where we take off our costumes, turn off all the lights, close all the curtains and play a form of "hide-and-seek" where people wander around and find each other in the dark to kiss and make out. Rule 1: There are no penalties for this from the person you came to the party with. Rule 2: If you don't have the guts for it, you can't stay. We are all in our early 20s and have known each other all through high school, when we made up the game. This guy who holds it has parents who go away Halloween weekend to their lake house for their own party with friends.
Last year I really wanted to stay for hide-and-seek, but my girlfriend said I was disgusting and she went home crying. I stayed and played -- no girlfriend tells me what to do -- and she stopped taking my calls, texts, unfriended me on Facebook, everything. I heard a few days ago from a female buddy that she's coming to the party this year and is planning to play the game. I feel lousy. What does she want? I still really miss her, but she broke my heart by what she did last year. -- Can't Take It Twice, Winnipeg Suburb
Dear Can't: Hello in there! You still can't see how you were responsible for what happened? Last year, your actions told your girlfriend of a whole year's standing you weren't serious enough about her to give up a chance to make out with other girls and you'd be happy to set her loose to do the same. You didn't value her enough to leave at midnight with the other couples. This year, she's coming to show you she can hurt you back. Why? She is anything but indifferent.
If you two are both still angry enough to be fighting this battle, how about you meet her on the front step and tell her you'd like to take her out instead of playing the game. Say the breakup was your fault, you've missed her for a whole year and you'd like to ditch the whole after-party to be with her.
Still want to be part of the makeout party? Then your heart goes to jail for another year.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend flies around the world having adventures. I just feel so insignificant when he's off with all these exciting people. I don't even get invited. Why? I don't know. He says it would "spoil it" if he brought me with him to a Halloween party in Vancouver. He likened it to "bringing the warden." I am so not his jailkeeper. I love him and I'll never meet another man half as exciting. My best friend says to find somebody more like me -- dull and quiet. -- Shy Girl, Charleswood
Dear Shy Girl: Why do you think he keeps you around? Because shy little you makes insecure him feel like a big shot and also -- listen closely -- he can push you around and call you names. You need to find a new guy who is attractive, sensitive and sensual and enjoys the same things you do. Let this paper tiger fly off and find himself a woman who's more his type -- burnt around the edges.