Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a drunk, martini-drinking young woman at a bar on a very hot and sweaty night and she asked me to go outside for a cigarette with her. When we were back in the dark behind the bar, she grabbed me below the belt and said, "There's nobody around. Let's go!" I refused, suggesting she was way too drunk to be making decisions like that, and walked away.
She came around the corner and shouted, "You're gay. That's what's wrong with you!" I ignored that, although I heard a few sniggers from other people outside. I went back into the bar. She came running in after me and said, "Why don't you want me? What's the matter -- am I that repulsive to you?" Then she started bawling and the bar security came over and asked me to leave. I said, "Why?" and he said, "You're making this young lady cry and we don't want guys like you here."
So I got kicked out. I called the next day and the guy in the office said, "We don't kick guys out of our bar unless they deserve it." I want to do something about this but I don't know what to do. -- At a Loss, Winnipeg
Dear At a Loss: It's too bad you got treated like this when you were actually refusing her advances as a nice guy. But this is what you need to know as a young man going out at night: Bars with drunk people in them are often unfair environments. Your big mistake was going out behind the bar for a cigarette with a woman who was clearly bombed. When a woman is drunk and looking for sex, with angry emotions going on beneath the surface, you can be accused of all kinds of things you didn't even think of doing. The only smart thing you can do is get away and refuse to engage, and also alert security that the drunk person is way over the limit and shouldn't be served any more liquor.
A least a few people at most popular bars are drunk and irrational; some even hit on other people for sex. But it's the man who usually gets assessed as the problem, especially if the woman starts crying and the bouncers see this scene going on at a distance. When things start going south at the bar, it's a good idea to head in the opposite direction.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just read the article regarding the young pup defecating in the house after being let outside. You indicated that experts suggest taking a dog for a walk so as to "walk it out of him." One important message that should be communicated is that dogs (typically deep-chested breeds) are prone to gastric dilation volvulus, which is very painful and almost always fatal. Dog owners should be careful with the amount of activity of their dogs have after they have eaten, and be aware how much the food being fed to the animal expands once water has been added. Knowing these two factors can really mean the difference to your pet. -- Concerned Pet Owner, Winnipeg
Dear Concerned: Thanks for the cautionary advice, and consider it passed on to pet owners. If anyone else has helpful suggestions for the upset owners of pup who waits until he's back in the house to let his bowels loose, please write in.
Please send your questions or comments c/o firstname.lastname@example.org or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg R2X 3B6.