Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

No nudes is good nudes; let sleeping nude photos lie

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I did a lot of nude "modelling" when I was young and I worry it will show up online at some time. Should I get in touch with the guy who did the "art," or let sleeping dogs lie? I spend a lot of time worrying about this. I didn't need plastic surgery as I had quite a figure then. These days I have a respectable job and my kids have just left home. Am I worrying too much? They would be shocked if they saw these photos and people are always talking about the dangers of all this stuff getting around the world. Should I make the call? -- Worry Wart, Elmwood

Dear Worry Wart: Don't do it! There's no need to alert this photographer to the possibility of putting your old shots up on the web. They may be in the bottom of a box he's forgotten about or could have been thrown out years ago. Button your lip and keep a sense of humour about this. No doubt you looked pretty good in those days, so if they do show up online, you can laugh it off. Phoning him would be "borrowing trouble." Don't blab about your worries about this to girlfriends, as it is juicy enough to get around. Turn your back on the whole thing, until and unless something happens.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm looking for romance, and I met a woman online from the personals. We met in person at a coffee place at The Forks. We went for a drive afterwards to Lockport. I didn't want to do anything when we got back to town but she wanted me to come over to her house right away. I went over there, but it didn't look like a woman's house to me and she didn't seem to know where her personal things were located. After we came out of the bedroom, I asked her if this was really her house and she laughed, and said no! Turns out she's married and doing the online romance thing "on spec" to see if she's going leave the guy. I didn't know what to say, so I just left her there, and took off in my car. She was mad, and didn't want to give me my leather jacket back. She said I was abandoning her. Did I owe her a ride back to The Forks? I felt kind of tricked and violated myself. I didn't ask how she got there. -- Stupid Guy, Winnipeg

Dear Stupid Guy: You did not owe her a ride back. Any trust or credibility was gone after she admitted it wasn't even her house. You got away fast. This is the danger of strangers meeting strangers and not taking any time to get to know them, or to find out if they can be trusted. Women can be just as dangerous as men, especially if they are working a scam with someone. What if you had been in the house and she handed off your wallet to someone who was hiding in the place while she kept you busy? Worse things than that could have happened. You took a big chance hitting the bedroom with her, too, where you probably had sex. Let's hope you used protection, even if she said you didn't need it. On the first few dates with a person you've met online, you shouldn't be going anywhere that isn't public and you should interview each other, so you find out about their work, friends, things you might have in common, and people you both know in Winnipeg. And, most importantly, both people should leave in their own mode of transport.

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition March 28, 2013 C2

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