Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/4/2012 (1657 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend is Mr. Kissy-Face. He embraces all his female friends and mine, kissing them on both cheeks, as if he's French, when he's Ukrainian like me. He pecks his two sisters right on the lips. He hugs his male friends and claps them on the back. He likes to shake hands with women and then put his other hand over their hands, and stand there talking. He even hugs my mother, which she doesn't like. She makes faces at me, to get him off her! My dad refuses to do handshakes, and I don't blame him. Otherwise this guy is a really, nice, intelligent funny guy who is great in bed. I spoke to him about getting "free feels" all over the place, even from family, and he laughed at me. He said, "I can't help it if you're uptight. Get over it. I don't love anyone but you." Am I being too uptight? -- Sick of Watching It, River Heights.
Dear Sick: Lots of people are affectionate with friends of both sexes these days but not to the extent Mr. Kissy-Face is exhibiting. If he were a dog, he'd be knocking people down on the ground and licking their faces. Surely you can find someone who isn't clasping your mother to his breast and kissing his sisters on the lips! If you were the same, you might be OK. But this guy is aggressively affectionate, and this relationship isn't going to work. If you can't let go now, give it another three months and his other fine character traits will dim beside the fact he doesn't really care how you feel. You need a guy who doesn't make you feel insecure or embarrass you.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I don't really like this woman at work, but I keep having sex with her. She is very flirtatious and the sexual comments and touches build up all week until Friday comes and she invites me to her place for "dinner," which turns out to be nothing much. She gets me to drink too much on a empty stomach, and then she takes advantage of me. I know that's a weird way to say it, but it's true. I have fought her off all week; she's definitely not my type, and she knows I'm lonely and need some affection. She's smart enough at work, but she has some dumb ideas. After we have sex she always wants to talk. I just want to go home, but I feel I must be polite and stay for a bit while she trots out her stupid political agenda. How do I get out of this, when I work with her every day, and she keeps offering herself? By the way, I'm not her only "boyfriend." She sees another guy most Sundays and is quite open about it. -- Lonely Single Guy, 31.
Dear Single: You need a replacement, but you've grown a tad lazy and are never really hungry enough to go out hunting. Once a week isn't that great in terms of sexual frequency for a man your age, and wouldn't it be great to really like the woman and have a real relationship happening? If you want to get off this merry-go-round you need to make yourself go out socially on the weekends and make a real effort to meet other women. You should ask this woman to stop the seductions at work "because people are beginning to notice." And think about this: It's dangerous to be sharing a woman with unknown "boyfriends" as their sexual history could affect you.