Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/1/2013 (1488 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was sitting on a bus bench when this guy sat down beside me and tried to talk to me. I was silent and he was mad. The bus that finally came was full and we ended up standing, and when the bus jerked to a stop, I felt his hand grope me. At first I couldn't believe it, and stood there shocked. The bus started up again quickly, and he groped me again, and I screamed! He quickly jumped off the back of the bus, and I went up to the front, and then stood there with my mouth open and closing like a guppy beside the driver. I just didn't know what to say about what had happened in front of people and I stood there with tears in my eyes until I got to my stop and got off. Now I don't know what to do. I don't like to make a scene. -- Groped Girl, Winnipeg
Dear Groped: It's hard to know what to do in the moment, especially if you're a timid Canadian, but if you had quickly made your way to the bus driver and showed him the guy, he or she would have the man's description and bus drivers on that route could be vigilant. If you say nothing, nothing can be done.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a terrible fight on the phone with my boyfriend and it brought my mother running. She heard what it was about and grabbed the phone and told him never to come around here again. Since then he and I have made up, but still my mother doesn't know I cheated on him first, and she doesn't want him around. She hears what he had been up to, in detail, because I had been yelling and crying. She made me go for tests for sexually transmitted infections so I would know if I caught anything. It's very uncomfortable that he can't come here any more because we can't go to his house where his big family is always around. It is too cold to be outside and have any private time and we don't have a car. What do you suggest? -- Needing Privacy, North End
Dear Needing: You're asking me for a good place to go and have sex? How old are you? You're still living at home, the two of you, so you must be pretty young. You may have to cool your jets until one or both of you move out -- except for the odd time when mom is out of the house. Tough beans, kiddo! Neither one of you is smart enough to be faithful so a lot of sexual histories will get mixed into yours unless you smarten up. Here's hoping when you do have sex, you use a good quality latex condom and a water-based lubricant that will not ruin the condom.
Questions or comments? Write Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Wpg, R2X 3B6 or email firstname.lastname@example.org