DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I guess I'm kind of a sex addict. I think about nothing else, but luckily I have a two-track mind. I can go through a whole day at work and do a good job of working, but I'm always on the other track at the same time. I have sex whenever I can get it, and not just porn at home, or sex with my wife. I've been in some risky situations getting anonymous sex and have almost been caught lately at work.
When I met her, she laughingly described herself as a nymphomaniac. That was like a mating call to me. I almost asked her to marry me on the spot. She lied, of course. She wants it lots, but only when she wants it. I don't want to have any children because I need my house private for sex any time. I don't really call it a problem because I love sex so much. Now my wife wants to break up because I'm cheating (she has no idea how much). She says I'm "emotionally and sexually needy" and she'll stay with me only if I get help. I went to a support group a few years ago and it just got me really excited talking about it. I'm not going back there and I guess I really don't want to quit the "addiction" either. -- Super Sexual Guy, North End
Dear Super Sexual: Stopping sexual addiction often requires dire consequences. You may need to be hurting badly enough for the pain to drown out the pleasures of the addiction that's calling to you 24/7. You haven't paid a really heavy price yet, but now you're risking losing your job and your wife. Crisis time may be coming soon, and there are resources and contacts I can send you then. At least be honest with your wife about the extent of the cheating and let her get herself out of the way before she gets a serious sexually transmitted infection if she hasn't already.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Your advice to Sincerely Torn (to dump her boyfriend for taking off to a strip club with the guys at the barbecue she attended) shows how little you know about men. A person wanting to go out with his or her friends and enjoy looking at members of the opposite sex equates to nothing else. To suggest there is something wrong with that person's character is flawed thinking. I have many friends who enjoy socializing with each other and complimenting bodies of members of the opposite sex. In all that time, none of those friends has ever got it on with a woman he was looking at. Your response was unrealistic. Just because folks are barbecuing, having a few beers and using the facilities doesn't equate to a drunken orgy. -- Sheesh! Winnipeg
Dear Sheesh: It's not "perfectly natural" for a guy to leave his date at his house and go off to a strip club with a bunch of guys at his barbecue. And Prince Charming stayed to the bitter end, waltzing in at 3 a.m. When did that become acceptable dating practice in Winnipeg or any other place on the planet?