Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Sexual interests too kinky, but she wants him anyway

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man I immediately rejected because of his unusual sexuality. We did have a lot in common career-wise, so I elected to be his platonic friend. After a while, I found I wasn't so disgusted by his sexual interests as I was in the beginning, but now he has a girlfriend and I feel the green snake of jealousy looking out of my eyes. I want him to be mine again, but I still don't want to do the things he wants to do (I'm not a gymnast) -- but I don't want her to have him. So where does that leave me? Like the song says, "I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that." Please help. -- Private School Prude, Winnipeg

 

Dear Prude: Write back and tell us what "that" is, exactly. Some "prudes" find modern sexual behaviour repugnant until they find out that everybody's doing it, enjoying it, and is not the least bit embarrassed. Let me know what you balking at -- tantric sex, a sex swing, perhaps -- and then there's a basis for discussion. This may still be negotiable, Miss Prudence.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went on a late spring holiday and had a very romantic relationship while in South America. We are both busy people, but had 14 days to be together and do nothing at the beach except talk and make love and enjoy the scenery. Surprise! He has asked me to come back and join him, at his expense, for another two weeks in June. I own my own business and could get staff to cover for me, but where is this leading? What if he wants me to move there? What if I meet someone else by the time I should be getting on the plane? What if I fall head over heels in love and my whole world is upset? Should I accept his offer? -- What If It's a Mistake? Winnipeg

 

Dear What If: Are you an adventurous person or do you like things to remain one yawn short of a dead sleep? If you're cautious, you may pat yourself on the back that it "might have" gone wrong at some point, but if you have any adventure in your heart, by all means go. Stop panicking and relax. You've already done a test drive of 14 days and liked this model of a man. What if you were too scared to go and spent your whole life wondering "what if" you'd gone?

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I threw up for the first time in front of my girlfriend at a social where it's fairly common to do -- in the parking lot. She was sympathetic from a distance. After she saw I was OK, she called a taxi, put me in it with her money and sent me home. I didn't know whether to say thank you, or, "Why aren't you coming with me?" My sister says it seemed kind of cold of her. My girlfriend stayed at the party and, by all reports, had a great time dancing with guys until 2 a.m. Then she came home with a girlfriend. Should I be mad? -- Confused Boyfriend, Age 17, Winnipeg

 

Dear Confused: Her concern has limits. A drunk and sick boyfriend deserves a pat on the back and a cab ride, but he is not going to entirely spoil her good time at the party. This could serve as an early lesson to you about drinking too much, and it might also tell you she's got doubts about you. Her actions say: Behave yourself and you can stay, but act up and it'll be two fingers in her mouth, whistling for the first taxi. I think she's kind of cool, in every sense of the word, and if you want to warm her up, you're going to have to grow up in a hurry.

 

Please send your questions or comments c/o lovecoach@hotmail.com or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition May 8, 2014 C2

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