Winnipeg Free Press > Opinion > Columnists > Son was born in a toilet, but she vows... 'We'll make it'

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Son was born in a toilet, but she vows... 'We'll make it'

Isaiah and Heather have a lot of strikes against them

By: Lindor Reynolds

19/12/2009 1:00 AM | Comments: 84

‘I’m scared,’ says Richard. ‘I’ve never been scared of anything in my life.’

MIKE.APORIUS@FREEPRESS.MB.CA Enlarge Image

‘I’m scared,’ says Richard. ‘I’ve never been scared of anything in my life.’

Isaiah Russell Daniel Jaevon Richard was born to a mother who didn't know she was pregnant.

Despite some evidence to the contrary, Heather Richard says she's ready to be a good mom.

Heather and Isaiah Richard. Luckily for Isaiah, police came to arrest his mother just as he was being born.

Enlarge Image

Heather and Isaiah Richard. Luckily for Isaiah, police came to arrest his mother just as he was being born. (MIKE.APORIUS@FREEPRESS.MB.CA)

Richard, 32, was oblivious to the child growing inside her. She says a doctor once told her she couldn't get pregnant. Her periods have always been irregular.

If it hadn't been for two police officers who came to arrest her, her child would have died.

 

It's not unheard-of for a woman not to know she's pregnant. According to a Maclean's magazine article, studies show that one in every 2,500 pregnant women have no idea they're carrying.

If they have irregular periods, are carrying extra weight (she's not obese but is heavy) or have a small baby (Isaiah was under five pounds) it's possible not to know.

Richard did seek medical attention during her pregnancy. She often felt unwell. Once, she was told she had acid reflux. The next time she was told she had a gallstone. She was told later what she was feeling was her son's foot.

The day she gave birth she was in bed at her boyfriend's house. Her water broke.

"We had intercourse," she says. "All of a sudden I felt a gush and I thought, 'Oh (expletive). I pissed myself.' "

She cleaned up and took the bus back to her Flora Avenue house. It's a duplex. The front windows are covered in sheets of plywood. She shares the three-bedroom home with her mother and three brothers.

Richard got home shortly after 11 Sunday morning. She jumped into the shower thinking that would help her severe stomach cramps.

At 11:30, she got into bed.

Half an hour later, she took a bath.

"I thought I had to crap," she says. "I could feel something hard in my belly. I thought, 'Oh my God that's a big crap.' "

At 1:20, she went to call an ambulance for her pain but had to rush back to the bathroom.

"I thought, 'What the (expletive).' I didn't know it was a baby. I thought it was my intestines. When I looked closer I saw that it was my baby. His head was in the water."

She tilts her head to demonstrate. The baby's mouth and nose were clear of the toilet water.

"I yelled for Dwayne (her 15-year-old brother). 'Come and get my baby out of the toilet!'"

He was no help.

"He froze. He's like 'Eff that.' "

In a made-for-the-movies moment, two police officers came to the door. Richard was wanted on a outstanding warrant for theft.

They heard her screaming, ran down the hall to the bathroom and saved Isaiah's life.

He had a small skull fracture from hitting the bowl.

"Instead of arresting me, they saved me."

By 1:45, she and her baby were in an ambulance. She pushed out the placenta at 2 p.m.

Heather Richard doesn't work. She's been on social assistance for years. She was a ward of CFS, handed over because her mother couldn't control her.

When she turned 18, they reconciled and lived together again.

Although she graduated from R.B. Russell High School, she was never able to pull her life together.

"I was a wild child," she says. "I had a rough life because I chose to live it that way."

She's been in jail.

"I don't remember my first offence."

Whatever it was, she says, it involved violence against other people. She says she hasn't done anything like that in years.

She's done odd jobs, just not recently.

When she was younger, she had a serious infection that was left untreated. It led to internal scarring. That's when a doctor said she'd never have a child.

She eventually did get pregnant three times but miscarried every time. She blames that on her former drinking and drugging days.

She denies substance abuse during her most recent pregnancy. She smoked and still does.

The nurses have told her that the baby weighed so little at birth because she wasn't taking proper care of herself during her pregnancy.

She knows that she needs to drink milk and eat more fruits and vegetables. But that sort of diet is expensive. When there are three strapping boys in the house it's hard to keep food in the fridge.

She sits in her tidy kitchen, crossing arms marked with home-inked tattoos across her chest.

Her milk is starting to come in and she's sore.

She has fanned out photos of her baby on the table. They were taken with her cellphone camera. Isaiah has a shock of dark hair and bright eyes. He's tiny, although he was full term.

Everyone in her family has been to visit the miracle baby. He's in an incubator with a feeding tube. Wednesday night, Richard planned to start expressing her milk so it could be squirted in Isaiah's mouth with a syringe.

She hopes to breastfeed as soon as possible. The nurses have taught her to cradle her little boy to her chest, offering him the security of a mother's touch.

One person who isn't at the hospital is Isaiah's father. He didn't take well to the unexpected child.

"I don't want nothing to do with him," she says. "He loved me Saturday. Come Sunday he didn't want nothing to do with me."

She has had her ex banned from the hospital.

This baby and his mother have got more than three strikes against them. Still, Richard says she's going to make it work.

She's choosing to see her son as a message from her late grandmother.

"I think it's a gift from her to straighten me out. I've always been the wild one. Now I have a baby. I can't believe he's mine.

"Since Sunday I've never felt so grown up."

She knows it's going to be rough. She had no time to prepare a nursery, to buy diapers or sleepers. She gets $80 from welfare every two weeks for her personal expenses. While that figure will go up once Isaiah's home from hospital, she's starting with nothing.

"Hell, I'm scared. I've never been scared of anything in my life. Had I known I was pregnant it would have been different."

She's still confident.

"Of course we're going to make it. That's my angel."

lindor.reynolds@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition December 19, 2009 A6

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84 Commentscomment icon

>>This is a vicious circle of poverty, no education, alcoholism, no family life to speak of, no positive examples. This is where the next generation of car thieves and muggers and murderers will come from...how do we save the baby from his desperate fate (if left in that family), and how do we help the family, if they even realize that they just may have a problem?<<

More CFS intervention, first and foremost. Take away the babies and children of these idiotic and abusive "parents" [that is, the sperm/egg donors who get Child Tax Benefit money], and put the kids with someone who can and will take proper care of them.

That will put an immediate stop to a substantial portion of child/teen crime.

Then, scale the Child Tax Benefit substantially back, so that these people will only have children because they want them and love them, not for the free money.

Also, encourage more abortion and adoption among unfit parents.

These actions will substantially reduce the remaining number of child/teen criminals in the long term.

And there you have it, the solution to most of Winnipeg's problems!

gdcooker -

'At 1:20, she went to call an ambulance for her pain but had to rush back to the bathroom' -- does it state that she used a cell phone?

Some of you people get a life, she knows she made mistakes in the past and she wants to try to change her life around but how can she negative people like YOU that keep shooting her down, how can one succeed with constant criticism and hating?

For you folks that ate on a gold plate walk a mile in someone else shoes.

Katherine Rose, I agree. If money is scarce for her and she is on social assistance, how can she afford a cell phone? anyone??

I wish Heather Richard all the best of luck for herself and her baby. I wonder where one can donate items to her and her new bundle of joy? Anyone know?

Good point, Davey.

Also, Jesus had not only one, but two caring and involved father figures...and Mary knew she was pregnant. A bit much to compare this to the birth of CHRIST, don't you think?? Not like it wouldn't be great if this kid was the second coming. God knows this city needs it.

Hey "Distant Friend" if you're going to tell a Bible story, tell it correctly. Mary and Joseph were never on the run, they were not fleeing the law. They were complying with a state ordered census that required you to return to their place of birth. God I hate it when religious folks get it wrong. Oh and by the way, Jesus went through his trials and tribulations at the end of his life and as we are all well aware he did NOT survive them. In fact, the 3 wise men brought him gifts that were considered to be 3 of the most valued items at the time. My guess is, the little holy family left the stable fairly well off. Comparing this fiasco to the Nativity is just wrong. I said ti before and I'll say it agin, this kid is doomed.

Senior Lady: "As for her finding a job....the negative commentors will probably be the first ones to give her a rough time on the job......forcing her to quit, and go back on welfare........then complain about her being on welfare!!!! What a bunch of racists!!"

What does this have to do with race? How does complaining about someone being on welfare make them a racist? Please enlighten us on the logic of this statement.

Senior Lady: "And calling in CFS!! I cannot believe these commentors!! CFS will never replace a Mother's Love"

*Rolls eyes* Wow, what a ridiculous statement. So I guess the tragic and senseless death of Phoenix Sinclair by her parents is better than being in the care of CFS. Get a grip. And get rid of the exclamation after every sentence. It's annoying!!! See?

Lindor...Please do a follow up to this story, we all just can't wait for an update soon enough.
Please touch on the following:
-Has Heather been arrested or has this now been swept under the the carpet of justice?
-I would like to hear from the WPD and their side of things.
-What has CFS done to help this situation?
-Is Heather going to try to better herself and the baby?
-How far has the father gotten since finding out?
There are many other topics that need to be covered, but I will leave that up to you.
If you have any trouble drop me a line and I might be able to help you out.

Oh thats right, because she is low income, and has a criminal past , its instantly assumed that she will make a horrible mother.If this child was born to a married woman in a River heights or Tuxedo area home to a woman who didnt know she was expecting, what would your opinion be then.Ignorance breeds ignorance, folks..its sad to see how biased people are nowadays.Good luck Miss richard.

Years ago I was in CFS a Marymound group home- Chestnut to be exact. I came from a middle class family. Good parents, good upbringing however, I was lacking things from my parents which they were too busy at the time to give to me or to even know I needed them.

So into CFS I went. I was a 12 year old girl living in a strange home with scary people. The social workers sent me to Marymound for school; I was terrified my first day. When the staff took me to my class there were so many girls that looked me up and down. I thought for sure I would be scrapping by noon. Seated at a table were 2 girls, 1 looked at me patting the table top and said "come sit with us.." "we will be good friends". She was very kind to me when I was scared to even be there. She made me feel welcome and she took away my fears.

She was in the lockup side of Marymound I wasn't sure what for nor did I care because she was always very nice to me. I consider myself a great judge of character and she was a gem- a diamond in the rough. During my years in the group home I remained friends with her but after moving back home with my family I lost touch with her.

I had met so many troubled kids there. Druggies, prostitutes, thieves, etc. But this girl stood out in my mind, I watched her constantly protect the "weaker kids". She was a sweetheart and I doubt during the many years that have passed that she has changed from that girl I once knew.

I still think of you Heather and I think you will be a great Mom!

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