Click here to visit the mobile version of winnipegfreepress.com

Winnipeg Free Press > Opinion > Columnists > Stupid deeds work better with an excuse

Columnists

Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Stupid deeds work better with an excuse

By: Lindor Reynolds

23/01/2010 1:00 AM | Comments: 7

I'm sorry if this column stinks. It's not my fault.I blame my hormones. I blame my status as a middle child. I blame my boss, who came up with this stupid idea. I blame my mom, my husband, my children and the new puppy for distracting me while I was trying to write.

If this column tanks, it has nothing to do with me. I'm the victim here.

This is my new go-to position, a catch-all for every mistake I make, person I offend or gaffe I commit. It wasn't me. It was biology. Or heredity. Or destiny.

My inspiration is Colleen Walsh, a Canadian broadcaster who was fined $2,460 this week after being convicted of failing to comply with the instructions of a flight crew member under the Aeronautics Act, and of assaulting another passenger under the Criminal Code.

This is very, very poor behaviour.

In court, Walsh admitted things went south. The problem was partially hers, she conceded, but everyone else on board also reacted poorly under pressure.

Walsh was flying from Ireland to Toronto when her plane was diverted for a medical emergency. She says she offered to help because she has taken CPR and first aid. Her kind offer was refused because she isn't a doctor.

And maybe because she was a little, uh, groggy.

Some shouting, bad language and general mayhem ensued. She admits she was already mad because the airline lost her luggage.

In the melee, she insulted another passenger and smacked him on the forehead. She disobeyed a crew member. She was arrested.

Some of us would have blamed the airline industry for squeezing us into tiny spaces, deprived of oxygen or a free sandwich. Others might have said Air Canada caused the whole thing by refusing to hand out little pillows and napkin-sized blankets.

Some of us are old enough to remember when you'd get a choice of hot meals and a glass of free wine and a seat big enough for an adult butt and maybe a smile from a flight attendant.

Sorry. That was my age ranting. Not my fault.

A less honest woman might have said the circumstances caused her to go a little kooky. Travel isn't fun anymore. Sometimes good people do or say stupid things.

Not Colleen Walsh. She explained exactly what happened.

She snapped, she said, because she had drunk two glasses of wine with her inflight dinner, missed taking her medication for menopause and had taken a sleeping pill. She said she was suffering from the previously unknown condition of menopausal exhaustion.

If only the court had bought it. There are hundreds of thousands of women who would have a Get Out Of Jail Free card.

Someone get between you and a chocolate bar? Justifiable homicide.

Flipping like a seal because you're hot and can't sleep and then your husband asks you if you could settle down? Someone's going to need a time out.

Forget your Premarin and run a red light? Hey, you weren't in your right mind. You were suffering from menopausal exhaustion.

Now, I'm not saying (yes I am) Colleen Walsh wasn't suffering from menopausal exhaustion when she was booted off the plane. I'm just saying I wish I'd thought of it first.

I spend too much time on airplanes. As you read this, I'm in a distant part of the world. Well, unless I forget my Premarin and my security pat-down feels more like a third date and something gets said and something else gets said and suddenly it turns sour.

Well, then I'm in jail in Toronto and won't I be embarrassed I made fun of Colleen Walsh? Actually, I won't.

For all the women who boldly flap their arms in public to cool down and all the women who think they'll never get another good night's sleep and all the women who can't understand why 10 pounds of fat has glued itself to random parts of their body, I'm taking a stand.

If we're going to support the right to claim menopause made her do it, we want a more glamorous spokeswoman.

Courtney Cox, please get on a plane and do something stupid. Colleen Walsh needs you. We all need you.

lindor.reynolds@freepress.mb.ca

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition January 23, 2010 A9

  • Rate this Rate This Star Icon
  • This article is currently rated an average of 5 out of 5 (2 votes).

    • We want you to tell us what you think of our articles. If the story moves you, compels you to act or tells you something you didn’t know, mark it high. If you thought it was well written, do the same. If it doesn’t meet your standards, mark it accordingly.

    You can also register and/or login to the site and join the conversation by leaving a comment.

    Rate it yourself by rolling over the stars and clicking when you reach your desired rating. We want you to tell us what you think of our articles. If the story moves you, compels you to act or tells you something you didn’t know, mark it high.

7 Commentscomment icon

Jacob Cotler

Perhaps you can name the test that determines whether a person has schizophrenia or not?

It is the opinion of believers that determines who is and is not a schizophrenic.

http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig10/szasz1.html

Beheading on a Bus
How do we explain the mentality of a killer?

by Thomas Szasz

......Why did Li commit this crime? Queen’s Bench Justice John Scurfield answered: “These grotesque acts are appalling. However, the acts themselves and the context in which they were committed are strongly suggestive of a mental disorder. He did not appreciate the actions he committed were morally wrong.”

That interpretation was contradicted by Li’s behavior when he was arrested, immediately after the killing. Li apologized, asking police to kill him – evidence that he knew what he had done and that he knew it was wrong. The authorities, however, wanted to treat him as a madman.....

..............................

Li’s liver or lungs did not fail him. His life did, and he knew it. There is no medical treatment for failed lives.

I am so sick and tired of hearing about all the stupid and ridiculous excuses people use when it comes to court hearings regarding their case, grow up and take responsibility for your actions! Enough is enough, and not only should these people be ashamed, but the judges too, i mean where is the justice these days, if someone went and killed someone this second and said it was because they had a bad childhood they would be considered traumatized or diagnosed and their punishment would be less harsher, i applaud, the judge in this case this woman needs a menopause reality check!

lol, what a column!! Here I am been awake since 3:30 am but I dont see myself freaking out my partner because I cant sleep. I am peri-menapausing. And yeah Chris, we are not animals. Two glasses of wine? probably consumed more and if she did take a sleeping pill, why wasnt she dozing already?

Mr. Buors saying that "Vince Li had a medical sounding excuse" is the height of foolishness. It's called "schizophrenia", Mr. Buors. This is an entirely different kettle of fish than the excuse making Ms. Reynolds rightly deplores.

What ism menopausal exhaustion? Is that a medical term?

I know Lindor does not write the by-line but if she did it would more likely say "Stupid deeds work better with a medical sounding excuse"


And why not? Vince Li had a medical sounding excuse and so do so-called addicts.

Supernatural forces get a hold of them and make them act against their will is what all those excuses boil down to.

People can control themselves if they want to, that's what differentiates us from animals.



Flipping like a seal" That line is sooooo funny.

The comment period for this story has ended.

letters

Make text: Larger | Smaller

Special coverage

Our Communities

Poll

Should the province spend $3.1 million to keep Greyhound inter-city bus service in Manitoba?

View Results

View Related Story