Winnipeg Free Press - PRINT EDITION

Subconscious saying boo to your marriage

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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I woke up in the middle of the night and saw my ex-husband in the room. It was very weird because I have a new husband now. My ex-husband died a few years ago of cancer after many years in his new marriage. My present husband slept on oblivious to my ex-husband standing there, large as life, at the end of the bed. As he turned to go he said, "Take care of him."

I didn't know what he meant. Is my new husband sick and he doesn't know it? Should I tell him about my weird visit? We haven't been getting along well lately and he would probably laugh in my face. Why did I have this ghost visit me? I am scared and creeped out. -- Warned by Ghost, Downtown

Dear Warned: More likely this was a vivid dream, which seems like reality, but is really your subconscious talking to you. At some level you're already recognizing the danger in letting the relationship with your partner slip into disrepair. Your first marriage didn't end well and the break up with your "ghost" was proof of it. Your inner voice may have been warning you that you need to have some heart-to-heart talks, or start seeing a counsellor, with your present husband to fix things or you will lose him too. If you've been suspecting he might have an undiagnosed physical illness, subtly suggest both of you see the doctor for checkups. Also work on the problems between you ASAP, as stress can impact the body in many ways, such as body pain, digestive problems and skin reactions, to name just a few.


Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This beautiful guy was moving into my block last week and I picked up a couple of small boxes and helped him. I introduced myself and he was very friendly. I helped him and his other two friends move in and then invited everybody to dinner. He was the only one who could come (whew!) so I made dinner for him and we got into a huge bottle of wine. One thing led to another, and I hadn't been with a man for awhile, so I welcomed him to the block in a big way. He left early in the morning for work. Now I don't know what to do. Living across the hall kind of puts us in stalker-ish positions. I'd like to see him again, but he hasn't knocked on my door, and when I do see him in the hall or parking lot, he just says hi or waves from his car. What does he want? -- Hot For Him, Wolseley

Dear Hot For Him: Your welcome wagon presentation was probably enough. The only way this would have worked is if you'd became instantly close and heading for love from day one. Recognize how badly this could go if you became a couple who lived across the hall from one another and then split up. It's best to let this slide into casual neighbourliness for you, too. That doesn't mean asking the guy over to fix the drain or the stuck window, i.e. phoney old tricks to get a guy over for a tryst. It does mean inviting him and other people closely situated in the block to your parties and being warm and friendly whenever you see him. Just be pleasant and enjoy the one memory you made together.

Please send your questions or comments c/o or mail letters to Miss Lonelyhearts c/o Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Republished from the Winnipeg Free Press print edition November 19, 2013 C4

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