DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Summertime means trouble in my neighbourhood because of the cul de sac where we live. Almost everybody has pools, too much money and loose morals. I try to hide invitations to barbecue parties from my husband because he gets drunk and can't control his actions. Last year an also-drunk woman in a black bikini dragged him into the change room and I knew what she was going to do. I ran to the door and pushed my way in even though she had him up against it, I screamed at her so loud. My husband was very embarrassed and I made him go home. Now he has been personally given our invite to a pool party where I know that witch will be. What should I do? -- Ready For a Fight, South Winnipeg
Dear Ready: Poor diddums needs protection from his own behaviour, does he? Open your mind! He gets drunk or high, and is "not himself"? Of course, he's himself; that's just a part of him you can't trust. He can't fight off a woman who "drags" him into a pool change room? Puh-leeze! Can't help mashing with her against the door? Pifflebunk! Now you're going off to party again where you feel you must protect your man and fight this tigress off? Then do it right. If you're determined to absolve your husband of all guilt and responsibility, make your move right off the top so you aren't in a sweat all night. Walk up to her, smile a phoney smile and say clearly: "You come within 10 feet of my husband tonight, and I will make a loud fuss and throw you out the door myself."
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have been dating my shift-working boyfriend for about three years. Time together is always been an issue. But, he cherishes time away from me! He's recently hooked back up with some old friends and spends the majority of his time with them -- more time than he sees me. I'm scared to talk about it because it ends up in a yelling fight, or putting the blame on me. I don't mind his having friends and enjoying their company, but I wish he would enjoy mine as well and want to see me and miss me the most. Is this normal? We average one to two days a week. -- Lonely and Hurting, Winnipeg
Dear Lonelyhearts: In the last century many men referred to their wife back in the kitchen, looking after the home and kids, as Mother. Then they went to work and out with their friends for drinks afterwards. That's who you are to him -- the little woman, someone to be rebelled against when he wants to enjoy free time. It really doesn't matter if other people do this or not, or how many days you see him per week. The important questions are: Am I happy with this man?; Does he make me feel loved and cherished?; Is he a great companion to me? The answers are all no, in your case. Don't waste more time, when a man who is a match and would love to be with you is around the corner. First, you have to get yourself free.
Questions or comments? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send letters c/o Miss Lonelyhearts, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6