DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I consider myself an average, healthy young woman in my mid-20s. I'm active, social and eat well for the most part, but life on a budget is tough. I'm on my own and most of my money goes toward rent and bills. As much as I'd love to have chicken, fish, veggies and salad for dinner every night, it's just not possible. When money is tight I end up having to eat a lot of cheap, processed garbage. I eat an entire box of KD and instantly feel disgusted. Sometimes I'll go to the bathroom and force it back up. I don't do it very often and I never binge eat in order to be sick -- I just feel better getting that bad processed stuff out of my body before it can be absorbed. I understand what this can lead to, but I know I would never let it get out of hand. Is there such a thing as healthy purging if done in moderation? -- Average Girl, Winnipeg
Dear Average Girl: Purging is never healthy for the body, and the acid can rot your teeth, so please stop looking for permission to do this. In your case, once you have thrown the pasta up, you have totally wasted what little money you spent and have no nutrition in your body at all. For $10 you can make a tuna casserole PLUS a pot of chili, or a stew with meat and veggies, that lasts all week. Check out Christopher Greenslate and Kerri Leonard, whose food budget averaged $1 per day per person for 30 days. Their book On a Dollar a Day, can be ordered at Amazon.ca. You wrote me online, so you should research "how to eat for a dollar a day" on the computer. It's a popular topic for students and people on low budgets.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm 63, married, and living in a very unromantic relationship. I consider myself to be an affectionate person and treat my wife well with gifts of caring such as flowers and presents. My wife has turned out to be the most unromantic person I've ever met. She is consistently doing things and never can sit down for a quiet moment together. Sexually-speaking, we haven't been intimate in about six years. It's getting to the point where I really don't look forward to coming home. Does this happen a lot to mature couples after 25 years of marriage, and you must accept it? This is becoming a real burden on me. I'm not sure that I can keep this type of lifestyle going on much longer. What to do? -- Old Guy, Winnipeg
Dear Old Guy: How about you drop the "old guy" image of yourself as a first step? You haven't had sex with your wife since you were 57, so this really isn't about old age. If you seriously are thinking of finding a new love life, see a domestic lawyer and your accountant and construct a Plan B. Then rock the boat for all it's worth, to see if you can rejuvenate this marriage -- that's Plan A. Tell your wife you want more out of the rest of your life than being with someone who doesn't want to embrace you and make love with you, and you will leave if you can't work out your problems. Insist on counselling to find out why she stopped making love with you. The answer may surprise you, insult you, even shock you, but it's definitely worth knowing.
If sex stopped with your wife's menopause, she may hurt during sex and now needs super lubrication such as Replens. She may be having an affair or interested in women now. Or, perhaps she's been trying to dissolve the marriage without looking like the bad person by freezing you out. You need to know the truth.
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